Assertive Love

It's been a while since I posted anything in this blog, mainly because my wife has been in the hospital and I have been looking after her here for the majority of the time since June. It's a little more difficult to write on this site on an iPad, but I think I finally need to just do it considering what has transpired since then.

What I write about today comes from a few different trains of thought but ultimately will converge into a single important idea that I will identify later. The first train of thought is the increased amount of bitterness surrounding social problems and political issues. Whether it be about the sheer anger between friends and families, Trump's presidency and the Kavanaugh case, or the latest gossip about what this or that celebrity said, the bitterness - and even violence in some cases - that so many are resorting to can only ever do one thing, destroy. It cannot create peace or truly resolve the problem and nor can it ever make those who engage in it feel better about the issue, themselves or those they accuse as perpetrators or enablers. And I will not be playing into the whole "picking sides" game.

You can ask me all you want who I agree with in each case and you'll get the same answer, "it doesn't matter which who is right, but rather WHAT is right."

The second train of thought, thankfully, is about something good. I wish so much that I could share lots of details about it, but I can only speak of it in mostly general terms because of the sacred nature of it. Early in September my wife had some severe nerve pain here in the hospital that had some... shall we say... special effects on her and how close she was to the Holy Ghost and the Lord. The result of this was a spiritual experience that left us both never to be the same. I wish I could give more details of what happened, but suffice it to say that we both learned more about ourselves, each other, the Father and His Holy Son Jesus Christ than at any other time in our lives. We felt a love from them and received counsel from them that was utterly and pleasantly overwhelming. There is much for all of us, all mankind, to accomplish and become before the return of our Savior, both temporally and spiritually, but Lorraine and I are confident that we can accomplish anything the Lord asks of us.

In connection with that, my third train of thought is as follows. We must refuse to let anger, bitterness, offense and fear reside in our hearts or dictate our choices. My hope is to encourage everyone to find the humanity, the divine spark that still remains even in those who they consider their worst enemies. The following is from an audio book I have been transcribing so I can reread it without having to find specific spots in the audio every time I want to find something in it. The book is called When We Don't See Eye To Eye by J David Pulsipher

"The ability of the past to distract or distort our lives is a dynamic I first recognized as a graduate student in Minnesota. My research focused on the national legislative and legal efforts to constrain the power of the LDS church during the second half of the nineteenth century. Consequently, I spent many hours in the government document section of the library, culling through congressional debates and court decisions. As I read some of the arguments against the "wicked Mormons," often belittling or dismissing truths that I held sacred, I was often irritated by their apparent self-righteousness.

"How could seemingly Christian people condone or even advocate wholesale religious persecution, imprisoning hundreds of men and women, disrupting and impoverishing families, driving church leaders into hiding and not recognizing the inconsistency and hypocrisy of their behavior? Their arguments for draconian measures such as disinheriting children, disenfranchising men and women, or confiscating church properties seemed spurious, arbitrary and illogical. Indeed, the whole rational for reforming the church and its members made little sense to me. One day as I sat in the library, surrounded by piles of government publications containing seemingly endless streams of anti-Mormon rhetoric, my irritation began to escalate into anger. How could they be so insensitive? How could they be so cruel? How could they not see the unnecessary pain and devastation they were causing?

"As I brooded over these thoughts, another quietly crept into the corner of my mind and gently pushed itself upon my consciousness. "You have to forgive them," it said, and I was startled to realize it was true. At that moment, I let go, and the anger that had been rising in me suddenly dissipated, swept away by a feeling of growing peace, and for the first time in months of study, I began to understand these persecutors of my people. The logic of their actions began to make sense to me. I still didn't agree with it, but I could better understand how it made sense to them, and instead of hypocrites, I began to see well-intentioned people, who were perhaps overzealous but nonetheless thought their actions would improve the world."

Notice how, in that moment, those who had been the perpetrators of such heinous abuse now appeared to him as the children of God they still were with potential to repent and become glorious. No more was he burdened by the - in all honesty - horrible things they had done and in his heart justice was left to be determined by the very Master of justice and mercy.

Considering what Lorraine and I learned about being peacemakers and making a relationship thrive, whether marital, generally familial or otherwise, and the stark contrast to that in the arenas of social media, politics, entertainment, sports, etc. I put this entry and my new perspective out there as an invitation, written with every emotional emphasis I can summon, to any reader is to please stop focusing so much attention on "getting even" or pursuing justice for every last perceived wrong or offense you think you see. Work towards healing and forgiveness in your own heart and seek divine guidance to fortify yourself against future attacks and desires for retaliation.

As J David Pulsipher outlined in his book, every movie, book, magazine, article, TV show or story ever imagined is mostly saturated with the same story, "good guy defeats bad guy" and the only two options portrayed are either give in or strike back. In reality, he says, neither is the best answer. Rather, creative, assertive love is the answer, which, if a person chooses it, sends a message of "I will not strike back against you because I love you, but I do not accept your behavior. If you continue to act this way, I will expose you in your unjustified aggression, but will do so with kindness, or I will do whatever it takes to peacefully protect myself from the effects of your aggression. Either way, you will not win."

The bottom line to all of this is to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being a peacemaker and instead of falling to society's methods of conflict resolution, which obviously does not actually resolve it at all (it merely continues the cycle), use the Savior's way. Defend (which is NOT retaliation or vengeance) only when absolutely necessary, forgive always, be kind to and speak kindly about absolutely everyone, whether they are there with you or not. For those of us who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know the Lord will not return until Zion is physically built and that cannot happen until our hearts and knit together in unity and love and become Zion first. Yes, we need to defend our religious beliefs, our families, and our values when they are attacked, threatened, or misrepresented, but we need to so with unity, kindness and love.

The next time you are tempted to find fault with a family member, friend, teacher, politician, religious leader or anyone else at all, remember that by harbouring ill feelings or impulsively forming negative opinions about them, you are hurting yourself more than them. Follow the Savior's example. Remember He paid for their sins and weaknesses and loves them as much as He loves you and, in reality, compared to Him, you and anyone you don't like aren't really all that different. Thinking and acting with kindness and Godly love towards everyone has become a much more prominent focus for me now, and I invite you to join me.

Moral Absolutes

Yes, the age old battle between moral relativism and moral absolutism.  Today that battle is more prevalent than ever before.  However, something most people miss is that neither side is entirely wrong or entirely right all the time.  That very sentence can seem to side a little with moral relativism, and I realize for sure that not everything is just black in white in this life.  Not every question can simply be answered straight forward or with a yes or no.  However, I definitely do not sympathize much with moral relativism and view it way more as a threat to mankind and the earth.

I will attempt here to show the advantages and disadvantages to both sides of this, but in the end my goal here is to help people understand why the only true morality is God's.  His perspective is perfect and only He sees absolutely everything as it really is.

Of the many examples I could use to illustrate the pros and cons of relativism vs absolutism, few to none may be as prominent or recurring these days than the ubiquitous conflict between the crowds that call themselves "pro-choice" and "pro-life" in the debate on abortion.  On the one hand people are arguing that a women has a right to choose what she does with her body, and that's true.  On the other hand people are arguing that it's murdering an innocent child and that's wrong, and that's true as well.  What neither side seems to be acknowledging is the reason why it's wrong for us to take the life of an infant, born or not.  That reason is where the conflict between relativism and absolutism comes in.  Yes, a mother has a right to choose what she does with her body, but that life inside her isn't her body.  It's the body of another human being.  Yes, it's wrong to kill, but it's not wrong to defend our families and our country from tyranny, even if that means taking a life.  So is it or isn't it wrong to murder?

The answer?  It depends... and it doesn't.  The Lord said "thou shalt not kill".  He didn't put any qualifiers on that statement and everything He speaks is valid and true.  But even He knows that there is a higher principle than truth.  To edify.  Edify: To instruct especially so as to encourage intellectual, moral, or spiritual improvement."  Doctrine and Covenants 50:23 - "And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness."  If the truth does not edify someone, if they are not prepared to receive it, if their perspective isn't at a point where they will be edified by it, it should not be given. Do speak the truth.  Give it boldly.  Teach it completely.  Publish it liberally.  But do it to the right audience, at the right time, in the right place.

To the LDS community this will be an age old example, but lets look at why God told Nephi to kill Laban.  In this instance, would keeping Laban alive be edifying to Nephi?  No.  He would not give the scriptures to Nephi, which the Lord commanded him to retrieve and when agency is misused, it is lessened until it is given away.  Nephi's people would have suffered and, as the verses in that chapter point out, dwindled in unbelief.  Would keeping Laban alive be edifying to Jerusalem?  No.  God had already pointed out to Lehi and Jerusalem was going to be destroyed anyways very soon.  So to be honest, it was better for Laban to die before such a horrific thing happened than to suffer as a live witness to the destruction of his own city.  Would keeping Laban alive be edifying to his family?  Even then, the answer is no.  While his wife and children may not have understood the reason for his death, but when final judgement comes and they see the good that came to an entire nation (via the scriptures) because of his death, I'm sure they'll agree that it was justified, especially considering he was leading his city and his family straight down the devil's path to misery.  Really, taking his life was an act of mercy on the Lord's part through Nephi.

So when it comes to taking the life of another, unless it is edifying to all parties involved (and the Holy Ghost confirms it as such), the morally correct answer is don't do it.

Let's look at same gender unions.  I don't want to call it marriage because marriage was defined by God to be a legal (and preferably spiritual) covenant and bond between a man and woman, so anything else by that standard isn't marriage.  Therefore, what some people call "same sex marriage" is immoral.  However, does this mean that we should be parading around to everyone who chooses to participate in or support that kind of thing and tell them they are immoral without regard to the individual and their circumstances?  No.  Even though it's true, if their minds aren't prepared to hear it, it will not edify them.  It may only cause them to turn against the truth more vigorously than before making it take that much longer to be prepared for the truth than it would have if patience was applied initially.  As the scriptures point out, the Lord works by small and simple things to accomplish His purposes.  He works to prepare people's minds to be ready to receive the truth and how well they do or do not work with Him to be ready will dictate if, when and how we should teach the truth to them and encourage them to follow it.  The Lord knows their heart and knows perfectly what will edify them and when.

Consider for a moment if your undeveloped pallet had tasted a raspberry for the first time and it was too sour for your liking.  (I saw a video with a kid who had that very thing happen).  Someone would have a hard time convincing you to try it again for a long time.  However, if the person who offered it to you, knowing the benefits but having patience, waited to offer it to you until your pallet was developed enough to enjoy the flavor, you'd forever remember that "raspberry = good".

A wise person once told me "Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind."

However - and this is where I put a different twist on things - this does not mean we should be hyper focused on making sure we please everyone. Nor does it mean that the only time we tell someone the truth is if it will make them happy.  Do you think repentance is supposed to be 100% wonderful and peaceful and butterflies and rainbows, etc.?  I don't think so.  Certain kinds of suffering are, believe it or not, edifying.  Look at Ghandi for example.  When his people were at war with each other (unfortunately I cannot find the official source of this), he decided to fast until, in desperation to keep their leader alive, they stopped fighting and there was peace.  This kind of suffering, on Ghandi's part, was edifying to an entire nation and to himself, since sacrifice is the highest form of love.

The same goes for repentance.  It is supposed to involve a motivational type of suffering, encouraging the repentant sinner to sin no more, thus enabling them to become more like Christ in all His might, majesty and glory.  Of course, there is the kind of suffering that was described in Mormon 2:13, "their sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin."  The truth wasn't edifying to those people because the more they heard of it, the more they fought against it and it was actually harmful and damning to them.  But for the repentant sinner, the Godly sorrow experienced during repentance is quite edifying because causes in them "a mighty change... in [their] hearts, that [they] have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2)

So not all edification feels pleasant.  Either way, the bottom line here is as follows.  If something does not edify all parties involved according to the dictates of the Father through the Holy Ghost, it is wrong.  I will say this though.  Certain things are always wrong, no matter what.  Breaking a promise we make with God to follow Him, for any reason, is wrong.  In the LDS community we are reminded each week when we partake of the sacrament, that we have made promises to God to "take upon [us] the name of [His] Son, Jesus Christ, and always remember Him, and keep His commandment which He has give [us]."  

Some covenants are higher priority than others or encompass others.  A few weeks ago, my wife's sister's celebration of life (in lieu of a funeral) was scheduled on a Sunday at a time that meant missing church to attend.  At first, I had heavy reservations about going, thinking "I have to keep my covenants to my Father in Heaven to attend church meetings and fulfill my calling as ward organist".  However, upon discussion with my wife and other trusted sources, I realized that I was forgetting the principle taught by the Savior, when He said "inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my bretheren, ye have done it unto me".  The principle here is that by missing that event, where no one was asking me to forsake a habit of going to partake of the sacrament at church every week, I would be putting those at church who depended on me as the organist ahead of my wife, who depends on me for moral and emotional support in her time of need; and her needs need to take higher priority than ward needs.  They found someone else to fill in for that week and everything was fine.  And I also kept my covenant to always remember Him by remembering the covenant I made with He and my wife in the temple, therefore attending His sister's event as well.  He suffered for my wife's loss and felt it the same way she did, so by supporting her first, I also kept my promise to Him.

Of course, if I was asked to put something to do with family as more important than church on a more consistent basis, that would be wrong to go along with that because the Savior also taught "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

There are countless situations where there is grey area in what may or may not be morally right.  I firmly believe abortion in 99.9999999% (rough estimate there) of cases is wrong.  I firmly believe that gay unions are wrong.  However, since everyone is different and God knows that each of His children have a wide range of spiritual capacity, in understanding, comprehension and depth (3 different things), learning to discern the right way to approach something for one person as opposed to another requires lots of practice aligning our hearts and minds with the Holy Ghost.

In expressing frustration, pain or fear, for example, I need to hear someone say and provide evidence, perhaps with a similar experience, that they understand. Maybe a "that totally happened to me, too", or an "I feel the same way!"  That tells me that someone else knows how it feels, even if not from my perspective.  My wife on the other hand, hates hearing things like that.  To her those kinds of comments feel like they are saying "Me too! Look at me, give me the attention" in the middle of what she is saying.  She prefers to have people say "I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.  I've never been through that."  She says it helps her feel like her problems are unique, so that makes her and her situation special.  So the morally right thing to say to me in time of crisis is the wrong thing to say to her and vice versa.  It really does depend on the person.

As alluded to earlier, somethings are just right almost always or even 100% always or just wrong to the same degree.  Infidelity in marriage always has been and always will be 100% wrong in all circumstances.  Putting our relationship with the Lord first has always been and will always be 100% right in all circumstances.

Just keep in mind that edifying is better than merely speaking or enforcing the truth if it's not done in the right way, to the right person, at the right time.

When It Feels Good to Be Wrong

I've been struggling to come up with what to write that last few months but after a recent issue that has come up in the public eye, I have something I could go on about for hours and that's a good thing because it's actually quite a beautiful irony in my own life and others as well I'm sure.

If you haven't, watch National Treasure with Nicolas Cage.  It's a really cool movie.  For those who haven't seen it, the movie is about the hunt for the Templar Treasure.  Ben Gates (Cage) is following clues, built by the Free Masons into things like the liberty bell tower, the dollar bill, the declaration of independence, all of which most people believe are just radical, ridiculous conspiracies that are just a bunch of hogwash.  But Ben believes the treasure exists and ends up finding all the clues, that they are all completely real and just before the end, they find what they think should be the treasure room in a series of underground caves, from what the room looks like, but there's no treasure there.

Ben's father Patrick (Jon Voigt) has been reluctantly pulled into the treasure hunt by that point and has believed the whole time that they're just searching for nothing, that Ben is delusional and overly obsessed.  However, when they find the supposed treasure room, Ben gets discouraged because there's no treasure there and Patrick says this: "This room is real, Ben.  And that means the treasure is real.  We're in the company of some of the most brilliant minds in history because you found what they left behind for us to find, and understood the meaning of it.  You did it, Ben, for all of us - your grandfather and all of us." and this is the awesome part that leads into what I want to talk about, "and I've never been so happy to be proven wrong."

Happy to be wrong about something?  Yup!  I've been there before, too and if you approach that thought from the right angle it feels great.

The issue that I believe warrants my writing about this is the controversy surrounding Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing for Trump's Presidential Inauguration.  I'm not here to talk about whether they should or shouldn't sing (though I think they are setting a Christ-like example by doing so).  I'm also not going to talk about the member who quit the choir because of that event.  I'd like to ask my readers to consider this.  Whether you dislike Trump, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's choice to sing for his event or anything, what if you're wrong?  Whether you think that the kid who was mean to you in school was just a mean-hearted jerk or that one customer service rep was rude to you because they just don't care about anything but money, what if you're wrong?  Perhaps you think that teacher graded you unfairly or that politician is corrupt to the core and has an evil heart or that person who sent you a mean comment on facebook finds some sadistic pleasure from trolling you or seeing you get upset, but what if you're wrong?

Of course there are people who are actually like that, but only God knows the hearts and minds and deep feelings and motives of everyone personally.  Honestly, I do believe that most politicians don't really have as much interest in the public good as they say they do, but do you know how happy I would be if I found out that I was wrong?  If I found that they really are trying their best to look out for everyone under their jurisdiction?  I would be ecstatic to know that that customer service rep was just having a bad day and wished they could correct their mistake.  I would be overjoyed to find out that someone I love who appears to be losing their faith is just going through a phase and that they would come out of it stronger.

There are so many examples of assumptions we make about negative things, in politics, religious, social drama, etc. that we would be so much happier about if we found out that we are wrong.  Does Trump seem like he will be a terrifying tyrant of a president?  To many, yes.  And their fears and frustrations are real.  But what if they're wrong?  That would be a huge relief for them to find out, right?  I personally believe that Obama was the worst president in the history of the world, that his presidency was littered with scandals and tyranny, broken promises, carelessness and brazen dishonesty, but I would also love it if I found out that many of the negative things I've heard about him are simply misrepresentations of truth or even complete lies.

We all say we all hope for and desire a better world, but do we really?  A lot of us today seem to seek more for the latest bombshell about that one bad thing that person did and find entertainment in speaking our mind against perceived injustices.  This is ridiculous.  Part of our purpose in this life is to be happy.  With society as saturated as it is with bad news and more bad news and more bad news, you would think that if people really wanted to be and stay happy that they would be looking for reasons to disbelieve negative news about people.

One good way to do this, I believe, is to consider the last part of this quote (don't know the source):

Small minds talk about people
Average minds talk about events
Great minds talk about ideas

I shake my head in disbelief when I see people obsessing about that one reality show, the "racist", "bigoted" or "sexist" statement made on social media when there are things much more deserving of our attention, good things that needs to be given more attention so that people have reason to rejoice about the good in the world.

Am I suggesting that we disregard the negative things that, to be sure, happen everywhere?  Of course not.  There are seemingly countless people in legitimately really hard circumstances who need our help, empathy, condolences, etc.  But with all that kind of thing in the world today, does it not make sense to seek for reasons to disbelieve that rumor about that celebrity or to doubt that that person who cut you off on the road today is a bad driver?  Maybe their father or sister is sick and they are scared and are trying to get there as fast as possible.  You'd feel better knowing that people are better than you think they are.  You'd likely feel more peace knowing that you are mistaken and that there's really nothing to worry about.

There's already enough negative things that actually do happen and enough people who really do have evil in their hearts all the time.  I'd say it's about time we stop succumbing to the hype that news sources try to induce for the sake of "controversy" and "attention" and shift our focus to good people, great ideas, hard work, forgiveness, love, great achievements, cheering for the underdog, celebrating goodness, truth, courage and honesty.  I'd say it's about time we stop being afraid to say about our negative perceptions of people, "I hope I'm wrong."

How To Not Be A Chicken - About A Parable By A Modern Prophet

President Monson wrote an article in the September 2014 where he said the following:

"In the vicinity where I once lived and served, the Church operated a poultry project, staffed primarily by volunteers from the local wards. Most of the time it was an efficiently operated project, supplying to the bishops’ storehouse thousands of fresh eggs and hundreds of pounds of dressed poultry. On a few occasions, however, being volunteer city farmers meant not only blisters on the hands but also frustration of heart and mind.

For instance, I shall ever remember the time we gathered the Aaronic Priesthood young men to give the project a spring-cleaning. Our enthusiastic and energetic throng assembled at the project and in a speedy fashion uprooted, gathered, and burned large quantities of weeds and debris. By the light of the glowing bonfires, we ate hot dogs and congratulated ourselves on a job well done.

However, there was just one disastrous problem. The noise and the fires so disturbed the fragile population of 5,000 laying hens that most of them went into a sudden molt and ceased laying. Thereafter we tolerated a few weeds so that we might produce more eggs."

Our prophet, like the Savior whom he represents, teaches many times in parables.  The meaning few saw around this comment was that, as one blogger said, "he is caught between the need to warn us  about preparing for the future, and the sensitivity of the saints to be alarmed that something bad is on the horizon. He could use words of “destruction and fire,” but that would be counterproductive; the “fragile population” of members would stop living their lives in a productive, one-egg-a-day kind of way. Once some chickens get it into their minds that the sky is falling, their lives will become unbalanced and fearful."

Many people, when I share these kinds of thoughts, say I'm paranoid, but that's just a word used by those who are uninformed when they finally see something that has been sitting under their very noses for the first time as it truly is.  So, if you're one of those who hasn't clicked out of this article or dismissed me as just some "nutball conspiracy theorist", feel free to to read on for my perspective of how to not be a molting chicken when poo hits the fan in the next few years.

First, President Benson gave us a powerful reminder of why the Book of Mormon was written for our day: "Now undoubtedly Moroni could have pointed out many factors that led to the destruction of the people, but notice how he singled out the secret combinations, just as the Church today could point out many threats to peace, prosperity, and the spread of God’s work, but it has singled out the greatest threat as the godless conspiracy. There is no conspiracy theory in the Book of Mormon —it is a conspiracy fact."  There's no doubt about it, evil men have been conspiring for years to destroy the U.S. from within.  There's nothing else that would have or could have brought what I now call the "Divided States" of America to it's currently dismal and putrid state.  A house divided cannot stand on it's own and it's not a question of if  their government and economy completely collapses, but when.

Next, I repeat what prophets and apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ have been saying for several millenia: "come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness...".  If you want to have peace and joy amid the horrors that are to come, they will be readily and easily available if you make the choice to turn full force to the Savior in everything you do.  No, this does not mean sell everything you have right now, go off grid and hide in a bunker until nuclear warfare destroys the rest of the population (that's not even going to happen).  It also does not mean I support getting overly obsessive and becoming the boy who cried wolf.

What I am saying is that there is a poisonous attitude many, even among the Latter-day Saints, of an apathetic "I have my religious life and my regular life and I need to keep balance between the two." Please don't misunderstand.  Balance is a good thing to be sure, but to mentally separate our commitment to Christ from every day activities is not only missing the whole point of Christ's invitation to follow Him, it is deadly to our spiritual progression.  As Elder Holland said, "Never check your religion at the door."  Discipleship is not something we go should be going about casually, thinking that, because perfection doesn't come overnight, we can just "do things at a comfortable pace" and avoid anything that makes us uncomfortable.  Do you think Christ was comfortable when He was in Gethsemane?  When He was on the cross?  When He was rejected and spit upon and betrayed while totally unwilling to do anything contrary to His Father's will?  Not a chance!

While this doesn't mean that we have to look for hard things or pray for trials (although I do know of at least one person who had the courage to try that), I'm just using that thought to emphasize that becoming Christ-like in an ever increasingly evil world means that staying in our comfort zone is never going to cut it.

The divide between true disciples of Christ and those who aren't is getting ever wider.  If we don't want our faith to break with changes like church's recent policy regarding the LGBT community, we had better make sure we are far enough over on Christ's side of that divide that when such a chasm makes a shift to grow wider we not are so close to the edge that we fall in.  Elder Bednar once suggested that we ask ourselves with each trial "Is the load I'm carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I can get safely home to my Heavenly Father?" Similarly I would suggest that we also ask ourselves regularly, "Am I far enough over on the Savior's side that changes toward perfection in the church will push me toward Christ?"

It's impossible to be too Christian, so don't worry about that, but please, believe me when I say following the prophet and aligning our hearts with that of the Savior which prophets convey to us is the safest way to stay on His side and have His peace with us always.

Jesus Christ = Protection

Face it.  Incident to the human condition is a test of character, the dangers of human flaws, sins and weaknesses.  Sometimes it can seem overwhelming if we focus on it too much but thanks be to God for providing His Son, Jesus Christ, as a means of protection.

As the third in the current series of articles:

#3 Jesus Christ = Protection

I'll present this concept in three parts, what, how and why.

What

What I'm referring to with "what" isn't about "what is protection" but rather the question "from what does the Savior protect us?"  It's easy to think of protection as a lack of trial or difficulty or peaceful and pleasant circumstances, but that's not always the case, nor does it need to be.  I am reminded of what Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, "Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly."  Though Jesus was entitled to perfect protection from His Father through His perfect obedience, that protection did not serve as an exemption from affliction or relief from the pains of a mortal body.  Rather, it protected Him from the ignorance of forgetfulness, being quickened by the Spirit at all times, and from fear of neglect from on high among other things.  His perfect obedience acted as a shield to Him by rendering Him impervious to the consequences of mortal weakness and sin for Himself.  He did not yield to the chemical, carnal inclinations of the mortal body in heart, mind, word or action and, therefore, of Himself, was not subject to the effects of succumbing to those things.

So how do we get the same kind of protection?  Asking anyone who is not He to live in completely flawless obedience to all of God's laws all the time is obviously ridiculous, but this is where Jesus' atoning sacrifice, made in love, comes into play.  Since He paid the compensatory price for all of our weaknesses, suffering and other ungodly conditions of mortality, He is now in a position to provide us relief from the effects of mortality when we obey Him.  As our Mediator with the Father and His justice, Christ can match our level of obedience and commitment to Him with a balanced level of His love and a measure of the Holy Ghost in our hearts that negates the long term effects of our suffering on our mind and heart, even right in the middle of it.  He paid the price for it, so, because He deserves it, He can provide is with that protection.

How

How does it work?  I love what Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, "I don't think everyone realizes that when we do sin, when we turn away from God, it does something in us, and when we repent and turn to Him, that effect in us is taken away. With [Christ's] Atonement, we become different people than we would be without it and it's power is infinite, truly infinite, and can reach down and sanctify and make holy any soul."  When we seek to change and obey Jesus more faithfully and consistently, His atonement takes effect in our lives and, for His sake, we are provided a protection perfectly balanced with our burdens.  Consider Doctrine and Covenant 3:20, "And that the Lamanites might come to the knowledge of their fathers, and that they might know the promises of the Lord, and that they may believe the gospel and rely upon the merits of Jesus Christ, and be glorified through faith in his name, and that through their repentance they might be saved...".  That part where it says "rely upon the merits of Jesus Christ and by glorified through faith in his name" is key.  I wrote a song a while ago for which a few of the lyrics are "His Son is Jesus my Savior, Redeemer of mankind. One in purpose with Father, His reward is me if I but follow Him."  That's exactly how it works.  He lived a perfect life and, therefore, His merits are really the only merits that have eternal significance for our salvation.  Because He did not need to suffer for His own salvation, the price He paid for us warrants our protection, re-balancing the scales of justice in His favor to the degree that we follow Him.

Why

Oh, that universal question, why?  Why are we alive?  Why do we suffer?  Why does the universe behave the way it does?  Why does religion matter?  Why should we obey God? In my opinion, the reason is the same for all those questions.  Love.  Why do the elements obey Him?  Because of His love for His creations.  Why do we get His protection?  Because of His love as shown through the person and atonement of Jesus Christ.

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In short we are protected, as with an eternal shield, from the eternal effects of our mortality on our mind and heart by means of His merits, mercy and grace, because He loves us; and the way to activate that protection is by obeying His laws as fearlessly as possible and acting in faith and love to Him.

Jesus Christ = Peace

From October 2014 to February 2015 I wrote 5 articles focusing entirely on our Savior, Jesus Christ.  I was doing so in order to help myself come to know Him better.  The whole reason I even began to blog more often as of last year was because of how much I learned in preparing a talk for sacrament meeting, how much closer I felt to my Father in Heaven and His perfect Son.  Throughout the next little while I'll be revisiting this idea and seeking to come to know my Savior even better and hopefully help someone else in the process with 5 more entries purely about Him.

Memes are so ubiquitous on the internet now that much of society seems to remember things better when they associate it with a meme.  I saw one the other day that had a donkey and an elephant (representing those political parties) and it said that neither the donkey or the elephant can save America, but rather the Lamb, meaning of course, the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ, the Holy One.  Whether He does or lets America suffer the consequences of it's laws, He is still the only one who can bring us joy and peace even in the very moments where we face the most difficult challenges.  So for this entry:

#1 Jesus Christ = Peace


The first thing that comes to mind when I think of the Savior's peace is the chapter in the Book of Mormon where they were in the middle of a war and Mormon still says "But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges."  Wait.  Why?  How could they be so happy in the middle of this war when so much around them was going wrong?  What warranted this peace in their hearts amid so much chaos and conflict?

The answer is simple.  They were focused and immovable in their love of the Lord Jesus Christ.  My wife recently learned the song "Live Like You Believe" by Jenny Phillips.  Part of the lyrics go like this:

Live like you believe
Live like you know
it's one sure way
your faith will grow
Listen to your heart
search in your soul
and you'll find the strength that you need
His light the gift of His peace
when you live like you believe.

This illustrates in more detail why the Nephites in the Book of Mormon felt His peace in the middle of tribulation like that.  They lived the way the Savior taught.  God's counsel to the Nephites, through prophets, was not just a good coping mechanism to get by in times of trouble.  It was woven into the very fragments of their souls, engraved in their countenances if you will.  The very model they used for their behaviors, choices and way of life, their whole motivation behind what they thought, said and did was the love of God and His Holy Son.  When they lived like they believed, not even a gruesome war could rob them of the peace of the Savior.

At our most recent Stake Conference this month (August 2015), I had the privilege of playing the piano for a musical number sung by Sister Gayle Nantais (permission granted to use her name) called The Master's Voice.  Some of the lyrics go: "Abide in me, the Savior said, Walk with me in meekness and be blessed, He taught them on the mountain, He taught them by the sea, In word and deed He taught them and He said, Come, follow me..."

I had to regain my composure a bit after reading that while playing because the Spirit spoke to me a special message.  Jesus did not let the location where He taught affect the Spirit of His message.  He can teach us anywhere, anytime, in any circumstance He wants provided He sees we are ready to receive it.  I had a very strong impression that I needed to supplement my efforts to endure well and always seek the influence of the Holy Ghost through difficulty with something more.  I learned that I need to go beyond learning how to cope in hardship and actually seek to allow my trials to be sanctified for my good as the Lord sees fit, to respond to them with meekness, patience, faith and love.  That's not an easy thing for anyone to do, but I know that I will be blessed as I ask for Father in Heaven to take my afflictions and the pains I feel for those I love and sanctify them for my good that I may become more like Him through Christ.  It will become a pleasure for me to ask, as Elder Bednar encouraged, "Is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home to Heavenly Father?"

This, I believe, will result in peace of mind even right in the middle of difficulty and an even greater capacity to feel the full joy of the love of the Lord.

The peace of Jesus Christ in our minds and hearts is not dependent upon circumstance or other people but, rather, upon our willingness to consecrate our pains and afflictions to His work and respond to them - in thought, word and deed - like Christ would as much as we can.  His atonement provides peace in cleansing from the effects of sin, healing, inspiration, eternal perspective and change in our natures.

One last thing to wrap this up.  I won't try to do it justice with my own words, so here is the video.

No matter your circumstances, Jesus Christ = Peace.

6 Ways to Just Keep Swimming

Latter-day Saints (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) are aware that we are living in the last days before the second coming of the Lord.  With the increased level of opposition in the lives of the faithful, it can be very easy to get bored with the gospel, feel social, mental, spiritual or physical fatigue from trying so hard or even find our perspectives severely at odds with God's counsel from His prophets.  I'm been in all three spots so I can relate to any of them, although to a different degree in each.  I'm sure there are more reasons why people have a hard time continuing to endure spiritually.

When I was serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I got into a pretty deep depression.  I called my Mission President's wife, Sister Ashton, and asked her for advice.  She reminded me of the part in Finding Nemo where Dori says "just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." and told me, "Elder Pulsipher, you gotta 'just keep swimming'."  She said much more than that but she was able to help quite a bit that day.  But with so many distractions in the world today and Satan working so hard to derail disciples of Christ, how do we get back up and go with enthusiasm and zeal for the Lord's work when we feel the most stagnant?  Bear with me, this is one of my longer entries.

Below I offer 6 ways to, as Sister Ashton and Dori remind us, "Just Keep Swimming."

1. Go out of your comfort zone.

And I don't just mean something that just feels a little different or takes you out of your normal routine.  I mean do something that takes you so far out of your comfort zone it scares you!  Well, make sure the Lord would condone it first.  Maybe get some ideas here?  Either way, the only way truly soul building change and strength takes place is when we go that far out of our comfort zones.  That's where the magic happens.  So go out and don't just sit around wondering how to feel the fire of the Spirit again, go out and act!  Do something about it!

2. Pray more earnestly.

I've referenced so many of my articles, at some point, to Jack R. Christianson's "The Mortal Christ" so many times that my frequent readers are probably getting bored of it, but there is so much in it worth repeating over and over that I'm doing it again.  From his talk "Let's go to Luke 22 while we're talking about prayer. May I ask you as you study the scriptures, that you include this? But what's the first thing when spiritual malnutrition is starts to take place that is lost? What do we stop doing, the very first thing? We quit praying, generally. Wouldn't you agree? Because you don't feel worthy to pray and besides that you're embarrassed sometimes if you're sinning especially. Now, let's learn from the Mortal Christ, shall we? He's in the Garden of Gethsemane – verse 44 – “and being in agony...” how did He pray? He prayed more earnestly... when you get discouraged and say dumb things like we all say like “it's not worth it”, “I'm so sick of trying to be so good. I'll just be like everybody else”, “everyone that wicked gets rich”. Ever hear that one? “What difference does it make?” Well you need to repent, you need the atonement for that []. Now, He prayed how when He was in agony? More earnestly.

He didn't shake His fist at His Father and He didn't quit praying. What did He do? He prayed harder! He prayed more sincerely! Somewhere along the line, brothers and sisters, we gotta quit saying prayers and pray! Does that make sense? We ought to be the safest people on the planet earth! Every meeting: “Please bless when the time comes we'll travel home in safety” and that's a good prayer. And you do need to keep praying because we all need to be safe. And here's another one, “Please bless the food that it will nourish and strengthen our bodies and do us the good that we need.” We ought to NEVER be poisoned! And that's a good prayer, but it's not going to help you if you're struggling with pornography, is it? And it's not going to help you if you're struggling with chastity and virtue or personal degrading habits. We've got to learn to pray!"

Well, after that quote... 'Nuff said, right? Wrong.  What is Jack trying to get at here?  What he's telling us is the same thing that President Eyring said in 2005: "As the challenges around us increase, we must commit to do more to qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Casual prayer won’t be enough. Reading a few verses of the scripture won’t be enough. Doing the minimum of what the Lord asks of us won’t be enough. Hoping that we will have the Atonement work in our lives and that we will perhaps sometimes feel the influence of the Holy Ghost won’t be enough. And one great burst of effort won’t be enough."

Our prayers have got to continually become more earnest, more focused on virtuous things, more humble, more faith filled, more in depth and more honest.  Because praying just to pray is never going to put you where you want to be eternally speaking.  Our prayers have to be something that permanently change us and irreversibly improve our relationship with God.

3. Look outside of yourself.

I asked God a while ago - I think it must be close to a year ago now (this was written back in July 2015) - to make me selfless, I mean totally selfless, to use my talents and gifts with no other thought in mind than blessing my family and anyone else I could on this planet.  Wow, did He ever respond.  He's been working with me and I've seen moreso than ever before the benefits of focusing on and being happy with simply making others happy and inspiring others for the glory of our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ and for no other reason.  I've learned in this process (though I still have a ways to go, of course), from my own experience that the more you seek to do good for others with not even a shadow of seeking for something from it, people LOVE you for it!  This may seem like a bit of an irony to some, but it's true and it's a beautiful irony.  If you want to become happier look outside of yourself more.  Go serve someone, pay those last few bucks on the grocery bill for the person in front of you in line, help that guy who claims he's alright but is limping a bit toward his car, go pick up trash along the side of the road for an hour, strategically place a $10 or $20 bill on a car that looks like it's owner could use a few extra bucks or anything else that gives something significant of yourself.  Make it something you never do.  Do it often.  You'll feel better, trust me.  After all, Jesus Christ spent His life doing what?  He went about doing good everywhere He went!

4. Go back to basics.

Likely one of the biggest reasons people get caught up in trivialities and other distractions that lead them away from the Lord's church is by going out too much of doctrinal "twigs".  Going out on limbs like this on the tree of the gospel isn't always a bad thing as long as it strengthens your testimony of Jesus Christ, His atonement and His role as our Savior and Redeemer.  If it doesn't directly do that you shouldn't be going there.  The gospel of Christ is simply beautiful and beautifully simple.  The most basic simple doctrines of the kingdom are the ones that will save us.  Knowing whether or not we will eat meat in the millennium will have absolutely no effect on whether or not we will recognize the Savior when He comes again.  Neither will knowing every last detail of the life of Joseph Smith or knowing more about the Book of Mormon than every scholar alive or seeing angels or memorizing the entirety of the Doctrine and Covenants or figuring out how the Savior travels through time or having a perfect record of every financial detail of the church.  None of that is ever going to be as paramount as having solid faith in the power of the atonement.  None of it will ever be as beneficial to your soul as the process of repentance.  None of it can possibly speak to and give peace to your heart the way the Holy Ghost will when you study the standard works and general conference talks.  None of it will result in having your needs met like paying your tithing and a generous fast offer willingly.  It just won't.

If you want to have your faith renewed over and over again, have it renewed in the most important things, the basics.

Vince Lombardi's football team, when he started coaching, went from a huge loosing streak to winning the first two superbowls by going right back to the basics of "This is a football", "This is a football field".

This video is also helpful as well in illustrating this concept.

5. Follow the prophet

Did you know that, when we raise our hands to the square during General Conference to sustain our church leaders, we are actually making a full fledged, eternally binding covenant?  Well, you are.  It is just as binding of a covenant as baptism, the sacrament, or temple covenants.  We a literally covenanting with God that we will sustain the church leaders, follow their counsel even when we disagree or don't understand why they ask us to do something, for as the Lord Himself said "What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."

Experience of my own has taught me that the rewards of following the prophet, without seeing how close to the edge we can go before being unworthy of a temple recommend, is God's grace is upon us.  When we focus more on how good we can be instead of how good we have to be, the world around us changes, not because of anything surrounding us, but because our ability to see the world as God does has increased.  We do not see the world as it is, we see it as we are.  So following the counsel of God's prophets willingly, happily and deliberately will help us see ourselves as we really are, children of God with infinite potential.  We will see that we need not seek for the world's approval, but only our Eternal Father's approval.  Besides, the things worth doing the most in this world are often those things recognized by God alone.  Following His prophets and seeking to go above and beyond in an attitude of "how good can I be?" is something you'll never regret.

6. Use sacrament meeting effectively.

A full time missionary told me (don't quote me directly on this one) that his Mission President told him that when the First Presidency was meeting to declare a theme for general church membership this year (again, 2015), they decided to make it about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy and focusing more on making it Holy, especially the sacrament.  Why?  Well I can't give any reasons as a fact because I wasn't there when they made that decision, but I do know that, when I am completely focused on my Savior and where I stand with in my spiritual progression with Him, I get the answers I always need right at the time I need them.  To those who struggle with coming to sacrament meeting at all for reasons you can help (come on now, be brutally honest with yourself), I can promise you from my own experience that as soon as you make a commitment to never miss a sacrament meeting again (unless you are dying in the hospital or something like that), your life will start to get exponentially better.  It will get even better even faster when you go far beyond just attending sacrament meeting but coming with your hand off to the top of your proverbial spiritual cup (see Psalms 23:5) and just let the Lord fill it up with what He will, regardless of whether you think you need it or not, even greater things will happen; and they will not stop happening so long as you continue that habit.

So go to sacrament meeting, go into the chapel, go straight to a seat, sit down quietly, turn off that stinking phone, iPad or other mobile device off - I mean powered off completely - put it down and open a hard copy of the scriptures or a hymn book or meditate or pray (remember above?).  Keep your thoughts focused on gratitude for and faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and the gift He gave you to have a chance to choose, to change, to repent, to have divine strength assist you, to have immortality and eternal life.  It will be refreshing.  It will do something for your heart and soul.  It will make you a little better, or maybe even a lot better, of a person, a little more confident and peaceful about God's plan for you and what lies ahead.
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There are obviously so many other things that will help you "just keep swimming" in the gospel, but, from my experience, these are 6 of the most useful things I can think of that will help you stay zealous, happy, anxiously engaged in a good cause and peaceful about the gospel of Christ, God's plan for His children.

Sometimes it can be hard to deal with the pressures and persecution we get from the world for trying so hard.  True disciples of Christ are called every name in the book, taken advantage of, treated as deranged paranoids and more.  Elder Hales, in October 2008, recounted one member of the church asking "Why doesn’t the Church defend itself more actively when accusations are made against it?", part of his response to this question was

"More regrettable than the Church being accused of not being Christian is when Church members react to such accusations in an un-Christlike way! May our conversations with others always be marked by the fruits of the Spirit—“love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance” (Galatians 5:22–23) ... This is especially important in our interactions with members of other Christian denominations. Surely our Heavenly Father is saddened—and the devil laughs—when we contentiously debate doctrinal differences with our Christian neighbors. This is not to suggest that we compromise our principles or dilute our beliefs. We cannot change the doctrines of the restored gospel, even if teaching and obeying them makes us unpopular in the eyes of the world. Yet even as we feel to speak the word of God with boldness, we must pray to be filled with the Holy Ghost (see Acts 4:29, 31). We should never confuse boldness with Satan’s counterfeit: overbearance (see Alma 38:12). True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride."

Christ is coming soon, very soon.  Whatever you do, whatever method you use to keep yourself not only afloat, but soaring towards celestial glory, don't stop, don't give up (except when it's appropriate to do so), don't allow yourself to get complacent.  Courageously and adamantly, but yet also meekly and kindly, act in faith and defend faith in Jesus Christ.  The rewards are there for the taking, we just have to live so that we are ready for them when they come.

Oh It Is Wonderful, Wonderful to Me

"Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me.  Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me."

That's what the gospel of Jesus Christ is, a wonderful, joyful gospel of peace, made possible by the Man after whom it is named.

Contrast, I have said before that it is an effective teacher and a sharp reminder of the condition of our lives and the world around us. There's a crazy amount of evil and good in the world and sometimes our trials are there for us to help us appreciate what we have because, as has been said by many, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

We are encouraged in the word of God, by Paul specifically, that "...the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ..." In this entry, I mentioned how we have been given the ability by God to either allow our difficulties to make us or break us, dependent on how tightly we cling to our Savior.  The reason I bring this us again is because, despite all the garbage going on in the world today, the gospel of Christ is still meant to be, above all, a gospel of peace, wonder, protection and joy!  The Lord Himself, while teaching the Nephites, said "Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full."

I have heard a few examples, recently, of people who, for whatever reason, felt they were just too tired of trying to live the gospel as perfectly as they thought they were supposed to and left the church.  From the limited information I received in these cases, it seems to me that all of them were missing one crucial thing about the gospel that can, admittedly, be easy to forget it we are not careful. While there are many warnings and commandments spelled out the gospel, the whole point of it in the first place is to provide us with the joyful news of deliverance or protection from our burdens and/or strengthening, changing, cleansing power we receive from our loving Redeemer through His Atonement. Abinadi may have spent a few chapters teaching gloom and doom that comes naturally as a part of sin, but he spends much more energy teaching the butterflies and rainbows part of the gospel.

King Benjamin, as well, may have spent some time warning of the consequences of sin, he was sure to follow it up with "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

These men were doing the same thing prophets today are doing.  They are encouraging us to rejoice!  They are urging us to look for the good, to allow ourselves to be filled with the everlasting gratitude and joy of the love of our Savior, manifest in His everlasting sacrifice for us. It should fill us with unspeakable happiness that He paid such a price, overcoming sin and death so He could have us back with Him and our Eternal Father and know Them as our family.  The entirety of John 17 is replete with expressions to the Father of His love for Him and for us, including this statement: "these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves."

Moroni, not wanting to just leave us at the end of the Book of Mormon with the awful scene of destruction which lay before him, started the last chapter with: "Now I, Moroni, write somewhat as seemeth me good".  I almost feel like it was sort of a sigh of relief for him, which is, honestly, one more thing the Jesus' gospel should mean for us, relief from the weight of our burdens, relief from the sting of death through resurrection and eternal peace in our hearts, possible through the Holy Ghost, because of Christ.

Look at what the Nephites said regarding the words spoken by the risen Lord to His Father in their presence: "And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father."

One last example. It's a quote by Elder Heber C. Kimball: "I am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured Being. Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured when I have His Spirit." This is just one more reason why the Lord would declare "men are that they might have joy".

I am happy in the gospel of Christ.  Yes, I am aware of how terrible things are around the world.  I am aware of the corruption, lust, hate and selfishness that fills many hearts of men on earth. I understand the pivotal importance of being educated as to what is going on in the world, whether it is pleasant or not. I know that happiness is a hard thing for many to achieve, whether they have the gospel or not. But being aware of these things does not mean they need to rule our minds and hearts.  The biggest blessing of the gospel is that, because of Jesus Christ, we need not be trapped or miserable, no matter the amount of difficulty around us.  We have a constant immeasurable source of joy before us in our Redeemer, the resurrected Lord, even Jesus Christ.

*edit Feb 2017*
As Tad R. Callister said: "No matter how lost the world at large may be, no matter how depraved or degenerate it may become, there is yet a bright light of hope for those individuals who have a faith in Christ.  Those who focus on him and his atoning sacrifice, who let these glorious truths rest in their minds continually, will find that Christ's power to lift the human soul transcends even the weightiest burdens the world may thrust upon them.  There is a certain spiritual buoyancy that attends a study of, and reflection, upon, the Atonement."
-Tad R. Callister ( The Infinite Atonement pg. 209)

Greatness: Does It Run in Your Family?

"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

The rest of that statement, read by President Gordon B. Hinckley on September 23, 1995, outlines the best possible way to have an great family.  Why? There are a few reasons I want to outline that explain, both from scientific and scriptural standpoints.

1. Numerous studies, including this one, have shown that heterosexual marriage is healthier for both partners.  This is not, however, always due to social tensions in general society regarding this issue.  Relationship stability is less likely as well, as shown by this study.  Children are also prone to have a better relationship with their parents and a more stable life in a family with a mother and father, as noted by this study.  This author mentions how children also get more respect and have more of a voice with heterosexual parents.

Now from a religious standpoint.  If you look at biblical history, the only societies of which we have sure record who openly celebrated same sex intimacy and marriages and worse was Soddom and Gomorrah.  Look what happened to them.  Completely consumed.  Now lets look at the other side of this.  The city of Enoch was taken straight to heaven without tasting death.  They were so focused on their God given roles as husband and wife, mother and father, they were so steadfast and unwavering in their commitment to the Father's design for their families that they ended up being too good to stay in the world or even to leave the world via death.

Greatness runs more in families with a mother and a father.

2. Kind conversation without one person interrupting another for any reason is another way to have greatness in your family.  Yelling, violence and aggression don't make anything better.  They will only make both parties feel worse off.  Improving Your Relationship for Dummies mentions how taking turns, avoiding accusations, focusing on feelings and not just events or beliefs, and choosing to maintain a calm demeanor creates an atmosphere of kindness, civility and happiness. Elder Lynn G. Robbins said 'A cunning part of [satan's] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.” []“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!
To those who say, “But I can’t help myself,” author William Wilbanks responds: “Nonsense.”'

Greatness runs in families where everyone remembers "kindness begins with me".

3. Being selfless, in action and intent is the most sure way to influence others to be selfless toward you.  From a secular perspective this study illustrates how, "in a paradoxical way, giving gets you more...".  Also, according to this test mentioned in TIME Magazine, "Being a good friend, and being compassionate toward others, may be one of the best ways to improve your own health."  

The Savior has counselled us as well to treat others the way you want to be treated.  Would you like to have your wife speak your love language more?  Speak hers more often and you'll get just that!  How about a better position at work?  Speak well and intentionally of others abilities and contribute your own selflessly. If you give the right recommendations for others, perhaps the boss will notice and think "This person seems to know a lot about who fits which position best.  They need to be in a position of leadership."  The more positive attention you give others, the more of it you will receive.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell emphasized this when he said "there is more individuality in those who are more holy."

Greatness runs in families where everyone serves others without thought of reward.

4. There are several reasons why religion in the home provides a better environment for success, peace and joy for families.  According to livescience.com, not only does religion make for more well behaved kids, when parents agree on religious beliefs it helps keep the home more happy than otherwise.  The man who conducted the study mentioned in this article, John Bartkowski, mentioned that "The conflict that arises when parents regularly argue over their faith at home... has the opposite effect."  The author of the article, Melinda Wenner, points out, as well, that "The kids whose parents regularly attended religious services - especially when both parents did so frequently - and talked with their kids about religion were rated by both parents and teachers as having better self control, social skills and approaches to learning than kids with non-religious parents."

According to the Son of God, the creator of mankind, "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another."  Regarding religion, or at least moral values, peaceful agreement and enforcement of the same values from both parents regarding these issues is far more likely to produce happiness in the home than the other way around.  This doesn't mean families agree on every opinion of every individual, but at least on the core values of behavior, attitude, and belief.

Greatness runs in families where high moral values are agreed upon, taught and enforced.

All things considered, all of us are children of God.  All of us have divine, Godly, royal parentage.  When it comes to God's posterity, meaning all of us, greatness runs in the human family because of Him.  All of us have divine potential.  All of us have been bought by the perfect blood of our Savior and given a chance to grow into the person and responsibility He has given us a change to be and have.

So, in reality, anyone, when asked the question "Does greatness run in your family?", can and should answer YES!  The only thing that remains to be determined is who will live up to it.

Blessings of #LDSConf

This article has become my most viewed entry over conference weekend, which fits, considering it's Easter weekend as well.  Jesus is the single most influential, powerful, loving person who ever walked this earth.  I love that Easter was a heavily covered topic in LDS General Conference.  In light of that fact, the purpose of this article is to emphasize what I see as the central truths He has brought to our attention once more through His prophets this weekend.

1.  God's standard on marriage and family is still not changing.  President Packer, Sister Burton, Elder Perry and Elder Christofferson made that abundantly clear on Saturday.  As The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity... individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."

As this blogger to eloquently noted (even if it was about a different subject matter), there are only two sides to the coin of truth, God's side and the world's side, truth and error, respectively.  No matter what the world says about the way they want marriage and family to be defined, it will never change how the Lord has defined them.  Both are gifts from Him with the sole purpose of bringing His children back to Him and making us more like Him.  Neither can happen effectively in any setting other than a Christ-centered home and family, united in their commitment to love each other, the Savior and Father in Heaven.  Please stay on the right side of the coin.  As Elder Bednar so clearly taught, "Jesus Christ the only source of enduring peace".

2.  Missionaries.  Not just full time missionaries.  Returned missionaries, member missionaries, future missionaries, basically, all members of the church.  The Lord has spoken through Elder Ballard.  He reminded us that 10+ years ago the bar was raised for missionary work.  Said President Hinckley in 2003 "The time has come when we must raise the standards of those who are called … as ambassadors of the Lord Jesus Christ. … We simply cannot permit those who have not qualified themselves as to worthiness to go into the world to speak the glad tidings of the gospel".  Elder Ballard gave us unmistakable counsel to extend that raising the bar to the rest of us.  He did a sort of personal interview with all of us and asked us some important soul searching questions that we really should be taking more and more seriously as the second coming of our Lord grows closer.  To review them, are our habits with scripture study (different from reading, mind you), praying in the morning and evening, fast offerings, thoughts of our Savior and the Atonement, Sabbath observance, honesty, chastity and time management a reflection of a disciple of Christ?  If not we have some changing to do and we have to start now, for the sake of our own happiness and salvation, among other things.

4.  Responsibility of priesthood holders.  Elder Soares made some key points about defending truth.  He told a story of a deacon who opposed peer pressure.  This young man was invited to view pornography on his friend mobile devices.  He boldly told them of the dangers of pornography and encouraged them to stop, but was ridiculed for his decision.  He did not, however, let this ridicule effect his choices.  As sensitive a subject as pornography is, if a young deacon, subject to the burden that we all know changing hormones can be, as possibly inexperienced as he may be with the weight of the role of a priesthood holder, can fearlessly stand up to immature friends regardless of the consequences, no other priesthood holder on this planet has an excuse not to either.  If we expect to receive the divine help inherent with the calling of priesthood we need to be living and defending truth as worthy priesthood holders would.  I know the truth of this from my own experience, on both sides of it.

5. What you're distraction?  We all have weaknesses for different distractions in life.  We are all pulled in the wrong direction by one worldly influence or other from time to time.  But, the distraction I'm addressing here, which has been addressed probably hundreds of times by other bloggers around the world, is technology.  In fact, after reading this, I challenge you to go and spend at least an hour or two doing something that builds your spirit and strengthens your character away from an electronic screen.  Yes, there are many good uses of technology that strengthen our relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Elder Teixeira made specific mention of making use of resources on lds.org and subscribing to church accounts on social networks to aid in bringing the Spirit of the Lord into our homes.

With the internet being such a ubiquitous thing in the world today, we really have no excuse to not be using these precious resources to strengthen our relationship with our Savior, increase our testimony of and experience with Him and His Atonement, invite His Godly love into our lives, and continually increasing our spiritual stamina in a world constantly striving the drag us down.  But please, don't rely solely on technology for this.  Elder Pearson nailed it when he said "Heeding those who do not believe in Christ will not help you find Him.  Searching #spaciousbuilding for knowledge will not lead you to truth.  It's not posted there.  Only the Savior has the words of eternal life.  Everything else is just words."

Take a physical copy of your scriptures or other gospel literature and a pen or pencil, go to a quiet place to study, ponder and pray, indoors or out, and make use of the Atonement by seeking for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.  He will enlighten and transform you for Jesus sake, your own good and the good of others.  There is no risk of temptations on the internet like pornography, mindless distractions or contention to detract from our Savior if you are unplugged from it and focused on Him.

6. Choose sensitivity over apathy.  I absolutely LOVED the title of Bishop Causse's talk, "Is it still wonderful to you?"  In the Book of Mormon, one of the biggest mistakes Laman and Lemuel made was allowing the effect of the Holy Ghost wear off, to the point where they were "past feeling, that [they] could not feel [the Lord's word]" in their heart.  To keep the joys of the gospel with us, it takes constant, daily work, because of the pull of the world in the other direction.  Life is going up a down escalator.  If you're not running up faster than the world is pulling down you're either sinking or getting nowhere and just uselessly tiring yourself out.  We have to "stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers [us]", stay all amazed at it and become continually more amazed at it every day so obedience can become easier and our joy in it can become more untainted, pure and full.  I can't speak for her, Elder Brent H. Neilson's sister who left the church for a time, but I imagine she may have fallen victim to this mindset and years later, when she came back, was re-amazed at Jesus' love and His gospel.

Elder Holland gave us his powerful testimony of the Savior as well, showing His amazement at it as well, given with a parable of the two rock climbers.  When we are more aware of the healing, saving, changing, loving reality and effects of the victory of Christ that is His Atonement, we will have more capacity to take a leap of faith by obeying, repenting and changing and trust the Lord to not let our hands slip on loose gravel on the edge.  I know He won't.  My wife and I have taken that leap in our own lives in repentance and obedience and we have felt Him catch us and save us from falling many times by sending people into our lives to accomplish His purposes.  As long as we have stayed "all amazed" we have seen and experienced the saving and enabling power of His atonement first hand.

7. Stick to the plan.  Elder Raphael E. Pino said "Understanding the plan will help people keep the commandments, make better decisions and have the right motivation."  Lets face it, our perspective of life and the eternities shapes everything we think, say, believe and do.  Elder Pino made a brilliant analogy of looking at things close up vs. far away.  When we often times look at the gospel from a close up perspective, focusing on just one tiny detail of the God's plan, it can seem unpleasant or difficult to understand until we back up and see the whole thing as it really is.  The opposite is true of the standards of the world.  Up close they can look appealing, but when you really step back and see their effect on society as a whole, it's obvious what the better choice is.

Elder Hales comments about religious freedom being threatened is a great example of the obvious effects on society of obedience to our loving God's plan vs. selfish disregard to it.  As we follow Elder Anderson's council to look for and be grateful for the hand of God in our lives, backing up to see His plan of happiness as it really is, the magnitude of the rewards He has for us will become that much more obvious and the right choice will become unmistakable.

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I was practicing the guitar chords for the primary song "He Sent His Son" using the gospel library app today and was reminded of why I love it so much.  God did not just send us here and say "good luck! I'll check in with you when you're done and see if you've lived perfectly." What He did was send us here with a message of "I love you and I know you're going to mess up, but I'll make it obvious how to get back to Me.  I'll provide you with a Savior to rescue you from your sins and show you how to live and become like Me.  He will only live 33 years in mortality, so I'll communicate with prophets as well who are living in the same mortal perspective as you and share His life and example with them. That way it will be easier for you to recognize the help I send."

Prophets are one of the most merciful blessings we ever received from our Father in Heaven.  That's the way I see it.