For the finale of my 10 part Songs of the Righteous series I want try and take something that seems overused and make it exciting again. I know that often times we as mortals tend to get bored when something is heavily repeated, but careful observation of the scriptures will show that when the Lord wants us to pay particular attention to something He repeats it several times. Well, I don't know of any gospel truth repeated more often than the reality of our eternal identity as children of God. This time I'm not taking the song from the hymn book but from the Primary Children's Song book because there is a fourth verse that I feel needs to be included that isn't in the regular hymn book. Besides, I think many of the songs in the Primary Children's Song book teach gospel principles much more simply and beautifully than many of the hymns.
"I am a child of God, and he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear.
*Chorus
"Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way
Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.
I am a child of God, and so my needs are great;
Help me to understand his words before it grows too late.
I am a child of God. Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will, I'll live with him once more.
I am a child of God. His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine if I can but endure."
To be totally candid, I don't see a need to expound much on this hymn so my comments here will be brief. One of the beauty's of simple doctrines is that they don't need much explanation. All of humanity is one big family with a Heavenly Father and Mother and the fact that they are the most loving and powerful beings in the all the universe says more about our potential and our purpose than can be adequately expressed in mortal language. It's no wonder this song can say things like "His promises are sure" and "rich blessings are in store".
I love Him and am forever thankful to Him for His Perfect Son, Jesus Christ and the chance I have because of Him to "live with Him someday". I know this is true and I testify of it in the Holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Jesus Christ = Everything
Within the last few years I've done two sets of entries specifically talking about what Christ means to me, each set using one word to describe what He means to me and so far I've used rescue, power, potential, victory, charity, peace, freedom, protection, great, and perfect.
I was going to do five more entries, but, really, there may just be no end to the positive words that can be used to describe Him, who He is, what He stands for, the live He lived, etc. etc. etc.
Even though I may not be able to mention them all, let alone think of them all, I'll do my best to discuss why
Jesus Christ = Everything [good].
There is a quote I love from Tad R. Callister's book The Infinite Atonement that goes as follows:
"Beauty besets [Christ] in every direction. So it is with the Atonement. Regardless of our vantage point, it is glorious to behold. Every principle underlying it, every consequence flowing from it rewards our intellect, animates our emotions, and enlivens our spirit. It is a doctrine for all seasons."
Similarly, no matter your perspective, the season of your life, your belief system (or lack thereof), your age, your needs, goals, habits or any other factor, there is always a reason to make Christ more of a central figure in your life, whatever your pursuits may be.
Parenting
I'm not a parent yet, but I know what an amazing benefit it was to have the gospel of Jesus Christ taught and enforced the best way my parents knew how. It wasn't a perfect environment because, of course, none of us mortals know how to be perfect parents, but my parents did the best they knew how to teach Christ centered principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. None of us ended up perfect, but we all have testimonies of His plan, His love and His church and decent moral standards at minimum, all because my parents placed Him at the center of their efforts to teach us. Indeed Christ is the most effective role model for parenting.
Prosperity/finances
While looking for prosperity, no matter what your profession, I know from my own first hand experience that building our financial stability on principles the Lord taught is the best way to find success. Truths like tithing, honesty, fairness, hard work, personal virtue and kindness are all things He taught and exemplified and when they are used in balance in any kind of work opportunity it's the best way to have an exceptional outcome. One example of this for me what when I was working at Arby's and my boss told everyone there about a mandatory meeting on a Sunday for all employees. Now, I had told him when I was hired that I would never do anything work related on a Sunday and that that was my condition for taking the job. I did not attend the meeting and faithfully paid my tithing. So when I went back on my next work day and people were asking why I wasn't there my boss defended me and told the others to back off, saying that I had every right to exercise my religious beliefs, even if that meant putting God before my job. This opened up further opportunities for me while working there I may not have had otherwise.
I have many amazing experiences since Lorraine and I got married regarding financial blessings as we have struggled at times to maintain financial stability. We have made deliberate and conscious decisions to put more than expected towards fast offerings and made absolutely sure tithing is taken out of all we earn as soon as possible. Because of this, God has provided us with things of which we were in critical need in times where we had no idea how we were going to do it.
My life with my wife has been a non-stop stream of evidence that centering our pursuits of prosperity on the Savior is the best way to achieve it. It has also changed our definition of prosperity to reflect one of my favorite quotes, "If you have God in your life and nothing else, you have more than if you had everything else without God."
Understanding
Jesus is the only true source of perfect understanding in all of life's difficult times as well. No matter the nature of our difficulties, He has been there first hand in His atonement for our souls. Again, from Tad R. Callister's The Infinite Atonement:
"What weight is thrown on the scales of pain when calculating the hurt of innumerable patients in countless hospitals? Now, add to that the loneliness of the elderly who are forgotten in the rest homes of society, desperately yearning for a card, a visit, a call – just some of the recognition from the outside world. Keep on adding the hurt of hungry children, the suffering caused by famine, drought, and pestilence. Pile on the heartache of parents who tearfully plead on a daily basis for a wayward son or daughter to come back home. Factor in the trauma of every divorce and the tragedy of every abortion. Add the remorse that comes with each child lost in the dawn of life, each spouse taken in the prime of marriage. Compound that with the misery of overflowing prisons, bulging halfway houses and institutions for the mentally disadvantaged. Multiply all this by century after century of history, and creation after creation without end. Such is but an awful glimpse of the Savior's load. Who can bear such a burden or scale such a mountain as this? No one, absolutely no one, save Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of us all."
If you ever need someone who understands you completely, even better than you do, to help lift you up, He is your ever constant, fail-proof source of Godly and mortal understanding.
Happiness
Maybe you aren't concerned with any of these perspectives of life right now. Maybe you are one of those who happens to be in one of the most joyous times of your life at the present. Well that, too, is an ideal time to turn to the Lord in gratitude and thanksgiving for all that you have and are. As the prophet Joseph Smith said "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments." How would/do you feel if/when you are in any way responsible for the good fortune of a family member, friend, or coworker and they showed little to no thanks for what you have done or even went as far as saying they did it without you, discounting your love and care for them? The Savior is in control of everything and every time something good happens to you (and remember, some good things come disguised as what we think is a bad thing) He arranged for that/caused it to happen. Everything you have and are is because He brought you or allowed you to get to that state. No matter our circumstances, we owe Him our gratitude for everything. Being happy is one of the reasons we are here on earth, and since the Lord made that possible in the first place, it's never a bad time to redirect that joy back to Him in thanks.
Relationships
Are you in a brand new relationship with a special someone? Have you been for while now? Or did a relationship end from which you are recovering? No matter your relationship status, with your family or anyone else, He is also the perfect person to help in keeping that bond between you and another strong, repairing one that is struggling or damaged, or helping you recover from one that was broken all together. One of my favorite lines from Bruce Almighty is where he's talking to "God" toward the end and "God" says "Grace. You want her back?" and he says "No. I want her to be happy no matter what that means. I want her to find someone that will treat her with all the love that she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through your eyes." If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, romantic or otherwise, focus on making them happy, by making every effort to see them as He does, even when they are frustrated, scared, angry, rude, mean, inconsiderate, dishonest, etc. I'm not saying you should become a doormat, but that using the Savior's life and teachings as framework of your relationships is your best bet to make them work or heal from those that didn't work.
Trauma
Have you been through traumatic experiences that have been affecting you for years? The atonement of Christ is still perfect for you. He has sunk lower than everything you have been through first hand and come out on top. He can make you greater than your trials and provide you the peace and healing you seek if you turn "with full purpose of heart" to Him (3 Nephi 12:24). This may sound kind of crazy to some people, but having Aspergers means, for me, that every emotion I feel is so strong that finding a way to express them without overwhelming myself or others feels nearly impossible. I thank the Lord for helping me with this matter. He gave me a wife who has been patient enough with me to help me find ways of expressing myself more effectively. I still struggle with this today. The other side of it is that being unable to express myself without overwhelming someone, using the wrong words or even expressing myself at all boils up in me like an unquenchable flame. Many times I end up feeling emotionally violated or destroyed, like I'm trapped in my own mind without an effective method of output and it's very traumatic for me. This goes for not feeling reciprocated in the love I feel for others as well. I recognize that this mostly as a result of my own personal weakness in managing thoughts and feelings with how intense they are, so it has caused me to turn to Christ that much more for help in winning the battles "fought within the silent chambers of [my] own soul" (In His Steps, Ezra Taft Benson 1979).
I know there are many more and many worse kinds of trauma, but I also know that Christ, the Savior of us all, is anxiously waiting to help us, looking with earnestness for every possible way and reason to help, protect, perfect and heal us, no matter our pain or the source of it.
Searching
Times of transition, learning, change and searching are also the perfect time to turn to the Lord. Not sure where to put your trust? Are you looking for answers, guidance or perspective in making major decisions? He knows and comprehends everything there is to know or comprehend. He has complete understanding in every way imaginable of every car part, every computer program, every song or dance that ever was or could be written or choreographed, every possible painting, drawing, illustration, photograph or sculpture, every injury, medicine, treatment or disease, every religion or beliefs system, all possible benefits and flaws of every imaginable business plan, investment, employee and product. He knows every possible outcome of every possible decision or event.
There is no question He cannot answer, no problem He cannot solve, no concept He cannot explain, no confusion He cannot clear up. If you are confused or searching for answers, Christ is the one to turn to.
I have made the mistake, innocently, of thinking "is there some cosmic mystery that Christ's doesn't know, something He has yet to learn, something even He doesn't understand?"
However, this is easily answered by another quote by Callister that I can't seem to find as I write this, so I'll do my best to paraphrase it. If I remember correctly it was either about no twisting of details, minimizing facts or backpedaling about the specific nature of a sin in the confession part of repentance or dispelling any misconception regarding a perceived need to second guess or logically backpedal in discussing the eternal nature and effect of the atonement. Either way, the concept applies here too. As Jacob explains in the Book of Mormon, "O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it." I don't see any clarifying statements or subtleties there. It's pretty clear.
____________________________________________
I know there are other phases in life and perspective I have missed here, but, as noted earlier, "Regardless of our vantage point, [the atonement] is glorious to behold", as is the Man by whom it was accomplished.
He has and is the solution to every problem, the answer to every question. He is the Healer for every ailment, the Strength for every struggle, the Source of every blessing, the Inspiration behind every good idea, the Manager behind every success, the Power behind every miracle. Indeed He is the source of and the reason for every good thing in this world.
He lovingly gave His all, selflessly and deliberately, to allow us to live, progress and have joy eternally.
I was going to do five more entries, but, really, there may just be no end to the positive words that can be used to describe Him, who He is, what He stands for, the live He lived, etc. etc. etc.
Even though I may not be able to mention them all, let alone think of them all, I'll do my best to discuss why
Jesus Christ = Everything [good].
There is a quote I love from Tad R. Callister's book The Infinite Atonement that goes as follows:
"Beauty besets [Christ] in every direction. So it is with the Atonement. Regardless of our vantage point, it is glorious to behold. Every principle underlying it, every consequence flowing from it rewards our intellect, animates our emotions, and enlivens our spirit. It is a doctrine for all seasons."
Similarly, no matter your perspective, the season of your life, your belief system (or lack thereof), your age, your needs, goals, habits or any other factor, there is always a reason to make Christ more of a central figure in your life, whatever your pursuits may be.
Parenting
I'm not a parent yet, but I know what an amazing benefit it was to have the gospel of Jesus Christ taught and enforced the best way my parents knew how. It wasn't a perfect environment because, of course, none of us mortals know how to be perfect parents, but my parents did the best they knew how to teach Christ centered principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. None of us ended up perfect, but we all have testimonies of His plan, His love and His church and decent moral standards at minimum, all because my parents placed Him at the center of their efforts to teach us. Indeed Christ is the most effective role model for parenting.
Prosperity/finances
While looking for prosperity, no matter what your profession, I know from my own first hand experience that building our financial stability on principles the Lord taught is the best way to find success. Truths like tithing, honesty, fairness, hard work, personal virtue and kindness are all things He taught and exemplified and when they are used in balance in any kind of work opportunity it's the best way to have an exceptional outcome. One example of this for me what when I was working at Arby's and my boss told everyone there about a mandatory meeting on a Sunday for all employees. Now, I had told him when I was hired that I would never do anything work related on a Sunday and that that was my condition for taking the job. I did not attend the meeting and faithfully paid my tithing. So when I went back on my next work day and people were asking why I wasn't there my boss defended me and told the others to back off, saying that I had every right to exercise my religious beliefs, even if that meant putting God before my job. This opened up further opportunities for me while working there I may not have had otherwise.
I have many amazing experiences since Lorraine and I got married regarding financial blessings as we have struggled at times to maintain financial stability. We have made deliberate and conscious decisions to put more than expected towards fast offerings and made absolutely sure tithing is taken out of all we earn as soon as possible. Because of this, God has provided us with things of which we were in critical need in times where we had no idea how we were going to do it.
My life with my wife has been a non-stop stream of evidence that centering our pursuits of prosperity on the Savior is the best way to achieve it. It has also changed our definition of prosperity to reflect one of my favorite quotes, "If you have God in your life and nothing else, you have more than if you had everything else without God."
Understanding
Jesus is the only true source of perfect understanding in all of life's difficult times as well. No matter the nature of our difficulties, He has been there first hand in His atonement for our souls. Again, from Tad R. Callister's The Infinite Atonement:
"What weight is thrown on the scales of pain when calculating the hurt of innumerable patients in countless hospitals? Now, add to that the loneliness of the elderly who are forgotten in the rest homes of society, desperately yearning for a card, a visit, a call – just some of the recognition from the outside world. Keep on adding the hurt of hungry children, the suffering caused by famine, drought, and pestilence. Pile on the heartache of parents who tearfully plead on a daily basis for a wayward son or daughter to come back home. Factor in the trauma of every divorce and the tragedy of every abortion. Add the remorse that comes with each child lost in the dawn of life, each spouse taken in the prime of marriage. Compound that with the misery of overflowing prisons, bulging halfway houses and institutions for the mentally disadvantaged. Multiply all this by century after century of history, and creation after creation without end. Such is but an awful glimpse of the Savior's load. Who can bear such a burden or scale such a mountain as this? No one, absolutely no one, save Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of us all."
If you ever need someone who understands you completely, even better than you do, to help lift you up, He is your ever constant, fail-proof source of Godly and mortal understanding.
Happiness
Maybe you aren't concerned with any of these perspectives of life right now. Maybe you are one of those who happens to be in one of the most joyous times of your life at the present. Well that, too, is an ideal time to turn to the Lord in gratitude and thanksgiving for all that you have and are. As the prophet Joseph Smith said "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments." How would/do you feel if/when you are in any way responsible for the good fortune of a family member, friend, or coworker and they showed little to no thanks for what you have done or even went as far as saying they did it without you, discounting your love and care for them? The Savior is in control of everything and every time something good happens to you (and remember, some good things come disguised as what we think is a bad thing) He arranged for that/caused it to happen. Everything you have and are is because He brought you or allowed you to get to that state. No matter our circumstances, we owe Him our gratitude for everything. Being happy is one of the reasons we are here on earth, and since the Lord made that possible in the first place, it's never a bad time to redirect that joy back to Him in thanks.
Relationships
Are you in a brand new relationship with a special someone? Have you been for while now? Or did a relationship end from which you are recovering? No matter your relationship status, with your family or anyone else, He is also the perfect person to help in keeping that bond between you and another strong, repairing one that is struggling or damaged, or helping you recover from one that was broken all together. One of my favorite lines from Bruce Almighty is where he's talking to "God" toward the end and "God" says "Grace. You want her back?" and he says "No. I want her to be happy no matter what that means. I want her to find someone that will treat her with all the love that she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through your eyes." If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, romantic or otherwise, focus on making them happy, by making every effort to see them as He does, even when they are frustrated, scared, angry, rude, mean, inconsiderate, dishonest, etc. I'm not saying you should become a doormat, but that using the Savior's life and teachings as framework of your relationships is your best bet to make them work or heal from those that didn't work.
Trauma
Have you been through traumatic experiences that have been affecting you for years? The atonement of Christ is still perfect for you. He has sunk lower than everything you have been through first hand and come out on top. He can make you greater than your trials and provide you the peace and healing you seek if you turn "with full purpose of heart" to Him (3 Nephi 12:24). This may sound kind of crazy to some people, but having Aspergers means, for me, that every emotion I feel is so strong that finding a way to express them without overwhelming myself or others feels nearly impossible. I thank the Lord for helping me with this matter. He gave me a wife who has been patient enough with me to help me find ways of expressing myself more effectively. I still struggle with this today. The other side of it is that being unable to express myself without overwhelming someone, using the wrong words or even expressing myself at all boils up in me like an unquenchable flame. Many times I end up feeling emotionally violated or destroyed, like I'm trapped in my own mind without an effective method of output and it's very traumatic for me. This goes for not feeling reciprocated in the love I feel for others as well. I recognize that this mostly as a result of my own personal weakness in managing thoughts and feelings with how intense they are, so it has caused me to turn to Christ that much more for help in winning the battles "fought within the silent chambers of [my] own soul" (In His Steps, Ezra Taft Benson 1979).
I know there are many more and many worse kinds of trauma, but I also know that Christ, the Savior of us all, is anxiously waiting to help us, looking with earnestness for every possible way and reason to help, protect, perfect and heal us, no matter our pain or the source of it.
Searching
Times of transition, learning, change and searching are also the perfect time to turn to the Lord. Not sure where to put your trust? Are you looking for answers, guidance or perspective in making major decisions? He knows and comprehends everything there is to know or comprehend. He has complete understanding in every way imaginable of every car part, every computer program, every song or dance that ever was or could be written or choreographed, every possible painting, drawing, illustration, photograph or sculpture, every injury, medicine, treatment or disease, every religion or beliefs system, all possible benefits and flaws of every imaginable business plan, investment, employee and product. He knows every possible outcome of every possible decision or event.
There is no question He cannot answer, no problem He cannot solve, no concept He cannot explain, no confusion He cannot clear up. If you are confused or searching for answers, Christ is the one to turn to.
I have made the mistake, innocently, of thinking "is there some cosmic mystery that Christ's doesn't know, something He has yet to learn, something even He doesn't understand?"
However, this is easily answered by another quote by Callister that I can't seem to find as I write this, so I'll do my best to paraphrase it. If I remember correctly it was either about no twisting of details, minimizing facts or backpedaling about the specific nature of a sin in the confession part of repentance or dispelling any misconception regarding a perceived need to second guess or logically backpedal in discussing the eternal nature and effect of the atonement. Either way, the concept applies here too. As Jacob explains in the Book of Mormon, "O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it." I don't see any clarifying statements or subtleties there. It's pretty clear.
____________________________________________
I know there are other phases in life and perspective I have missed here, but, as noted earlier, "Regardless of our vantage point, [the atonement] is glorious to behold", as is the Man by whom it was accomplished.
He has and is the solution to every problem, the answer to every question. He is the Healer for every ailment, the Strength for every struggle, the Source of every blessing, the Inspiration behind every good idea, the Manager behind every success, the Power behind every miracle. Indeed He is the source of and the reason for every good thing in this world.
He lovingly gave His all, selflessly and deliberately, to allow us to live, progress and have joy eternally.
Friday, July 24, 2015
#IAmAPioneer
I won't go into many details here about my heritage because I have already done that in a few previous entries (here and here) but this is about, as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has so helpfully suggested in their #IAmAPioneer campaign, "Discover[ing] and shar[ing my] legacy."
Since I love to use quotes and to always present my thoughts definitively, a legacy, as defined at wordnik.com, is "Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past."
My parents are awesome. They set a great standard for my life in teaching me the gospel and plan of Jesus Christ and made every effort to assure that words of God's prophets were the foundation for our character and our very lives. They worked tirelessly to establish our home on principles of "faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities". They gave every effort they could muster to center our home on the atonement of Christ and always aim for higher spiritual ground.
Truly, their example was a critical foundation on which I could build my own home upon the doctrine of Christ and make it so that, as God has encouraged through His prophets, "[o]nly [our] home can compare with the temple in sacredness." My wife and I have always had in mind a goal to make our home a safe haven from the world for anyone who enters here. Society is in such a chaotic mess and the hearts of people, as Jesus predicted, are failing them. We desperately want our home to be a place where the hearts of men can be restored, healed, comforted, strengthened, inspired, cleansed, and transformed for the better, where the doctrine and love of the Savior can permeate souls, expand minds, fortify faith and protect them from the fiery darts of the adversary. One of the reasons why we work so much with missionaries is because they carry with them the Spirit of the Lord. Missionaries who are dedicated to the Lord carry with them the Holy Ghost, which is the key to any of those goals being accomplished.
As the sign in our bathroom says:
Since I love to use quotes and to always present my thoughts definitively, a legacy, as defined at wordnik.com, is "Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past."
My parents are awesome. They set a great standard for my life in teaching me the gospel and plan of Jesus Christ and made every effort to assure that words of God's prophets were the foundation for our character and our very lives. They worked tirelessly to establish our home on principles of "faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities". They gave every effort they could muster to center our home on the atonement of Christ and always aim for higher spiritual ground.
Truly, their example was a critical foundation on which I could build my own home upon the doctrine of Christ and make it so that, as God has encouraged through His prophets, "[o]nly [our] home can compare with the temple in sacredness." My wife and I have always had in mind a goal to make our home a safe haven from the world for anyone who enters here. Society is in such a chaotic mess and the hearts of people, as Jesus predicted, are failing them. We desperately want our home to be a place where the hearts of men can be restored, healed, comforted, strengthened, inspired, cleansed, and transformed for the better, where the doctrine and love of the Savior can permeate souls, expand minds, fortify faith and protect them from the fiery darts of the adversary. One of the reasons why we work so much with missionaries is because they carry with them the Spirit of the Lord. Missionaries who are dedicated to the Lord carry with them the Holy Ghost, which is the key to any of those goals being accomplished.
As the sign in our bathroom says:
Obedience is the price
Faith is the power
Love is the motive
The Spirit is the key
Jesus Christ is the reason.
If each person who enters here, by the time they leave, feels better, if they feel like they are more inclined to follow our loving Savior, the Son of God, if they have a greater desire to do good and be kind, if they are more sure of the role of Christ and His Atonement in their lives, if they are more confident of the love God has for them and all others, if they feel more capable of being the salt of the earth, if they have a greater desire to change and repent, if they are more committed to the Lord's church and His priesthood, if they feel a greater resolve to defend truth no matter the consequence, if their relationship with our Redeemer and our Father in Heaven is stronger, then we have succeeded. Anything less and we have some repenting to do.
No matter our position in the church, no matter our circumstances, no matter how others see us or speak of us, our legacy must be as a light that leads to our Savior Jesus Christ, to trust in Him and obedience to His laws, to His gospel, to His plan based on faith and love. We still make mistakes. We mess up. We have disputes and arguments, but as long as the Atonement changes us and our home for the better each day, mission accomplished.
Our legacy must be one that our descendants look back on with hope, with a sense of freedom, self worth and value in the eyes of God. It must be a legacy that reflects sharing talents to brighten the lives of others, that brings us closer together as children of God, unified in our love for each other and for Him, where hard work, service, truth and quality time act as the glue that bonds us as an eternal family, in charity with an eye single to the glory of God.
As my ancestors were, #IAmAPioneer of faith, perseverance, service, self improvement, providence and love to those without the gospel. I look back on their examples and see defense of righteousness, great personal sacrifice for a great cause and the fruits of hard labor and immeasurable rewards from such.
So when my posterity look back I want them to see that #IAmAPioneer of a new level dedication to the greater good and a home where the peace and joy of the Lord is apparent by the power of the Holy Ghost. I want them to see a family and reputation that is conducive to wholesome fun, a self evident oneness of purpose and a palpable commitment to God, our Father in Heaven. In my family, being raised at a time when the internet became ubiquitous as it now is around the world, #IAmAPioneer of online missionary work. With my musical gifts from our Father in Heaven, #IAmAPioneer in my family of the power of music composition to convey the Spirit of the Lord to the hearts people everywhere. These standards are not just something that I want for the benefit of my family and posterity. My goal is to set a legacy for everyone I ever meet, a legacy that shows that our family is committed to everything godly, being proven, pure and sealed as a beneficiary of the Atonement of Christ, a legacy that invites and encourages them to do the same so we can all partake of the fullness of the joy of the Lord at the last day.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Father: The Greatest Kind of Leadership
Before you read anything past this sentence, please watch this video. Please. I'm serious. If you are still reading, stop and watch the video. It's not very long.
In the movie Cheaper By The Dozen 2, towards the end, they say something like "There's no perfect way to be a [father], but there's a lot of ways to be a really good one." For us mortals, this is true. We don't have the slightest clue of what it means to be a perfect father like our God is to us, but my dad knows a way to be a really good one.
Part of the role of a father, as designed by God, is to provide and put his wife and his family before himself. There are millions of families, I'm sure, where the home is broken and where relationships are severed by selfishness in the home. While it doesn't require a perfect father to establish good relationships in families, it does require a man focused on self improvement and doing his to provide the best love and support he knows how to give to his wife and children. It requires a high level of dedication, selflessness, a deep sense of gratitude and joy in seeing others, especially those in his family, succeed. It also requires letting some of his expectations be unmet or even changed from time to time when something doesn't go according to planned, allowing people to make mistakes and always doing his best to encourage his family to make Christ centered decisions and respond with love if they mess up. It requires righteous, humble use of priesthood power to bless his family and most importantly, charity, the pure love of Christ.
Here is how my dad meets this standard.
My dad works with some pretty good people and deals with some pretty nasty people as well. Working in the medical field, from what I have observed, is no walk in the park. You can't please everyone, but yet everyone expects to be pleased when they seek health care. It's obviously not abnormal to seek high quality health care, but it is also no mystery to me that his response to his pager going off before he called in, from what I observed, was never one of excitement. His drive to love us and the Lord and provide the best he possibly could for us, I'm sure, was the only reason, some days and nights, why he kept going. I remember a number of times where I wouldn't see him come home at night because he came home so late, making sure that his patients were all looked after properly so that we could have the best lives possible. Growing up, I never saw a greater example, up close and personal, of consistent dedication to our well being in a man than my dad. So on that one he passes with flying colors.
________________________________________________
On one of my previous entries I said that as much as we focus on doing good, being kind and seeking humbly to be a force for good, the more opportunities we will have to do good and the more positive attention and gratitude we will receive from and feel for others. Watching my dad in his efforts to serve my mom, give us the absolute best he circumstances he could provide and encourage us to make proper use of and respond properly to those circumstances, I do not recall a single thing in his demeanor, words or actions that sent a message of "I'm doing this because I want to look like a hero" or "You'd better be grateful to me because of all this stuff I've provided for you." Rather, I remember feeling like what he really wanted was just to do good for the sake of doing good, serve for the sake of improving our lives and offering advice for the sake of helping us cope with hard times and become better people. I recall my mom telling me that, while she was grateful for the many hours he put into landscaping the yard in their current home, she did suggest a number of times for him to get some professional landscapers to finish the job and give himself a break. He was so adamant about doing everything he could to give her what he wanted himself and it took a few times before he agreed to give himself that break and let someone else finish. He was that focused on serving ALL THE TIME growing up. For selflessness, he nailed it.
_________________________________________________
Whether it was a graduation, a great result of a science fair project (with which he always helped), earning a merit badge, or even just overcoming a great personal difficulty, if I were to pick a phrase my dad loved to use during times like that it was a plain and simple but yet emphatic "Well done, [insert personal pronoun here]!" He was always the first to offer our hard work ethic and abilities to help others - even when we didn't want him to, haha - because he had confidence in our ability to do good. He also expressed abundant gratitude and gave loads of praise to my mom for her efforts in instilling in us a good sense of what it really means to put in a good hard days work and be legitimately impressed with the results.
I remember when he took away driving privileges when I came home with a poor mark on my report card to teach me the value of studying hard. It was found that the poor grade was because of an error on the teachers part and driving privileges were immediately reinstated upon this discovery. He was always very careful to give out both punishments and rewards in ways that taught us a valuable lesson, expressed exuberant satisfaction with our efforts for good and always encouraged us to aim for the next step in the learning process. Did he find pure, selfless joy and gratitude in our efforts and successes? Absolutely!
________________________________________________
There was one time when he drove me out to pick up some large stone slabs for some kind of outdoor job - I don't remember exactly what - and after we had loaded a bunch of them on the truck he couldn't get back up the dirt hill to bring it home. After several attempts, he suggested we pray for help so we could get back home on the next try, but to no avail. I remember him being so set on bringing them home to make the project look better and he concluded after failing that one last attempt, that we would just have to empty out the truck if we wanted to get home. We may have put a few back in the truck a taken a more flat route back to the road, but I do remember him changing his expectation and humbly submitting to the Lord's answer, "I'm sorry, but this just isn't going to work, you'll have to try something different" (something to that effect). My dad didn't get upset, but, if I remember right, just said something like "well, darn, I guess we'll just have to change our plan here" and we went home with a different outcome than we expected.
This is just one example of many but it is also one of many evidences of his submission to the Lord's will when the Lord basically told him "This just isn't going to work the way you want it to" or "This person isn't going to respond well to this so you'll have to change your approach if you want a positive outcome." Regardless of how much time it took him to see those answers, when he did, he accepted them and moved on with life, optimistic of better days ahead.
________________________________________________
He bought me a 2005 Grand Prix after I got back from the mission. Pretty awesome, right? I thought he was the greatest dad ever to just buy something like that flat out (and still do). Well, I went on a date that took me on a four hour drive to the northwestern corner of Colorado a while later. On the way back I was very tired, but was also afraid to be late to work the next day so I decided to try driving through the very risky and windy road that is highway 139 back to Grand Junction. Bad idea. I feel asleep at the wheel maybe 5-10 miles outside the city and totaled the car by slamming in the back end of a big pickup truck. $5000 dollars down the drain. How my dad responded was fantastic. He had called the insurance agent and requested the car be added to his plan on the way to buy it but, I guess, never finalized it. So when I was fined and told I would have to face jail time for driving without insurance, he agreed to pay the legal fees to liberate me from such a burden and because of such, the courts decided to waive the jail time. I may have a few details of this wrong, but I know for certain that his response, both by action and word, to my mistake was a sign to me that he cared more about me than money, a car or anything else temporal for that matter.
_______________________________________________
Priesthood blessings. Some of the most reassuring and profound revelations and experiences in my life have been as a result of father's blessings. Each school year, for example, my dad would give each of us kids a father's blessing before school, addressing any concerns we had and giving us encouragement, counsel and warnings to help us stay safe, happy and successful. Before I started at Mesa Colorado University, the blessing I had from my dad told me that as much as I didn't study things of the world on the Sabbath that I would have successful grades as a result. I graduated high school with a 3.14 GPA. Three of my other siblings were 4.0 students, the hard workers who didn't seem to struggle much to keep their grades high. Well, that year at school, I did end up studying for my Algebra final for a few hours on the last Sunday of the semester. Everyone of my classes (even chemistry!!) were mid to high A's except Algebra, which ended up being a mid B. I know, to this day, that it was because I studied on the Sabbath for those few hours. A 3.84 blew me away and I am grateful for the inspiration my dad was worthy to receive in my behalf in times of need. Righteous exercise of priesthood in the service of his family and his God, check.
_______________________________________________
Above all, I know that my dad would not have the reputation he has today as one of the best doctors in western Colorado, a fantastic force for good, a man dedicated to his family and, most importantly to his God, if he hadn't proved it. He's not perfect. He has his flaws, but he doesn't need to be free of weakness or fault to be a fabulous example of a leader. The most important thing I ever took away from anything he ever did or said was as follows.
No matter what anyone else does or says, I need to be aware of God's love for me, demonstrated through Jesus Christ. I need to show that to and share it with others and to "come unto Christ, and be perfected in [H]im, and deny [myself] of all ungodliness".
Dad, I love you. You are awesome and I can never thank you enough for setting the right foundation for me growing up and continuing to encourage us to rise above the world and know of the love of God in our lives. You really do prove that fatherhood is the greatest kind of leadership.
Happy Father's Day Dad.
In the movie Cheaper By The Dozen 2, towards the end, they say something like "There's no perfect way to be a [father], but there's a lot of ways to be a really good one." For us mortals, this is true. We don't have the slightest clue of what it means to be a perfect father like our God is to us, but my dad knows a way to be a really good one.
Part of the role of a father, as designed by God, is to provide and put his wife and his family before himself. There are millions of families, I'm sure, where the home is broken and where relationships are severed by selfishness in the home. While it doesn't require a perfect father to establish good relationships in families, it does require a man focused on self improvement and doing his to provide the best love and support he knows how to give to his wife and children. It requires a high level of dedication, selflessness, a deep sense of gratitude and joy in seeing others, especially those in his family, succeed. It also requires letting some of his expectations be unmet or even changed from time to time when something doesn't go according to planned, allowing people to make mistakes and always doing his best to encourage his family to make Christ centered decisions and respond with love if they mess up. It requires righteous, humble use of priesthood power to bless his family and most importantly, charity, the pure love of Christ.
Here is how my dad meets this standard.
My dad works with some pretty good people and deals with some pretty nasty people as well. Working in the medical field, from what I have observed, is no walk in the park. You can't please everyone, but yet everyone expects to be pleased when they seek health care. It's obviously not abnormal to seek high quality health care, but it is also no mystery to me that his response to his pager going off before he called in, from what I observed, was never one of excitement. His drive to love us and the Lord and provide the best he possibly could for us, I'm sure, was the only reason, some days and nights, why he kept going. I remember a number of times where I wouldn't see him come home at night because he came home so late, making sure that his patients were all looked after properly so that we could have the best lives possible. Growing up, I never saw a greater example, up close and personal, of consistent dedication to our well being in a man than my dad. So on that one he passes with flying colors.
________________________________________________
On one of my previous entries I said that as much as we focus on doing good, being kind and seeking humbly to be a force for good, the more opportunities we will have to do good and the more positive attention and gratitude we will receive from and feel for others. Watching my dad in his efforts to serve my mom, give us the absolute best he circumstances he could provide and encourage us to make proper use of and respond properly to those circumstances, I do not recall a single thing in his demeanor, words or actions that sent a message of "I'm doing this because I want to look like a hero" or "You'd better be grateful to me because of all this stuff I've provided for you." Rather, I remember feeling like what he really wanted was just to do good for the sake of doing good, serve for the sake of improving our lives and offering advice for the sake of helping us cope with hard times and become better people. I recall my mom telling me that, while she was grateful for the many hours he put into landscaping the yard in their current home, she did suggest a number of times for him to get some professional landscapers to finish the job and give himself a break. He was so adamant about doing everything he could to give her what he wanted himself and it took a few times before he agreed to give himself that break and let someone else finish. He was that focused on serving ALL THE TIME growing up. For selflessness, he nailed it.
_________________________________________________
Whether it was a graduation, a great result of a science fair project (with which he always helped), earning a merit badge, or even just overcoming a great personal difficulty, if I were to pick a phrase my dad loved to use during times like that it was a plain and simple but yet emphatic "Well done, [insert personal pronoun here]!" He was always the first to offer our hard work ethic and abilities to help others - even when we didn't want him to, haha - because he had confidence in our ability to do good. He also expressed abundant gratitude and gave loads of praise to my mom for her efforts in instilling in us a good sense of what it really means to put in a good hard days work and be legitimately impressed with the results.
I remember when he took away driving privileges when I came home with a poor mark on my report card to teach me the value of studying hard. It was found that the poor grade was because of an error on the teachers part and driving privileges were immediately reinstated upon this discovery. He was always very careful to give out both punishments and rewards in ways that taught us a valuable lesson, expressed exuberant satisfaction with our efforts for good and always encouraged us to aim for the next step in the learning process. Did he find pure, selfless joy and gratitude in our efforts and successes? Absolutely!
________________________________________________
There was one time when he drove me out to pick up some large stone slabs for some kind of outdoor job - I don't remember exactly what - and after we had loaded a bunch of them on the truck he couldn't get back up the dirt hill to bring it home. After several attempts, he suggested we pray for help so we could get back home on the next try, but to no avail. I remember him being so set on bringing them home to make the project look better and he concluded after failing that one last attempt, that we would just have to empty out the truck if we wanted to get home. We may have put a few back in the truck a taken a more flat route back to the road, but I do remember him changing his expectation and humbly submitting to the Lord's answer, "I'm sorry, but this just isn't going to work, you'll have to try something different" (something to that effect). My dad didn't get upset, but, if I remember right, just said something like "well, darn, I guess we'll just have to change our plan here" and we went home with a different outcome than we expected.
This is just one example of many but it is also one of many evidences of his submission to the Lord's will when the Lord basically told him "This just isn't going to work the way you want it to" or "This person isn't going to respond well to this so you'll have to change your approach if you want a positive outcome." Regardless of how much time it took him to see those answers, when he did, he accepted them and moved on with life, optimistic of better days ahead.
________________________________________________
He bought me a 2005 Grand Prix after I got back from the mission. Pretty awesome, right? I thought he was the greatest dad ever to just buy something like that flat out (and still do). Well, I went on a date that took me on a four hour drive to the northwestern corner of Colorado a while later. On the way back I was very tired, but was also afraid to be late to work the next day so I decided to try driving through the very risky and windy road that is highway 139 back to Grand Junction. Bad idea. I feel asleep at the wheel maybe 5-10 miles outside the city and totaled the car by slamming in the back end of a big pickup truck. $5000 dollars down the drain. How my dad responded was fantastic. He had called the insurance agent and requested the car be added to his plan on the way to buy it but, I guess, never finalized it. So when I was fined and told I would have to face jail time for driving without insurance, he agreed to pay the legal fees to liberate me from such a burden and because of such, the courts decided to waive the jail time. I may have a few details of this wrong, but I know for certain that his response, both by action and word, to my mistake was a sign to me that he cared more about me than money, a car or anything else temporal for that matter.
_______________________________________________
Priesthood blessings. Some of the most reassuring and profound revelations and experiences in my life have been as a result of father's blessings. Each school year, for example, my dad would give each of us kids a father's blessing before school, addressing any concerns we had and giving us encouragement, counsel and warnings to help us stay safe, happy and successful. Before I started at Mesa Colorado University, the blessing I had from my dad told me that as much as I didn't study things of the world on the Sabbath that I would have successful grades as a result. I graduated high school with a 3.14 GPA. Three of my other siblings were 4.0 students, the hard workers who didn't seem to struggle much to keep their grades high. Well, that year at school, I did end up studying for my Algebra final for a few hours on the last Sunday of the semester. Everyone of my classes (even chemistry!!) were mid to high A's except Algebra, which ended up being a mid B. I know, to this day, that it was because I studied on the Sabbath for those few hours. A 3.84 blew me away and I am grateful for the inspiration my dad was worthy to receive in my behalf in times of need. Righteous exercise of priesthood in the service of his family and his God, check.
_______________________________________________
Above all, I know that my dad would not have the reputation he has today as one of the best doctors in western Colorado, a fantastic force for good, a man dedicated to his family and, most importantly to his God, if he hadn't proved it. He's not perfect. He has his flaws, but he doesn't need to be free of weakness or fault to be a fabulous example of a leader. The most important thing I ever took away from anything he ever did or said was as follows.
No matter what anyone else does or says, I need to be aware of God's love for me, demonstrated through Jesus Christ. I need to show that to and share it with others and to "come unto Christ, and be perfected in [H]im, and deny [myself] of all ungodliness".
Dad, I love you. You are awesome and I can never thank you enough for setting the right foundation for me growing up and continuing to encourage us to rise above the world and know of the love of God in our lives. You really do prove that fatherhood is the greatest kind of leadership.
Happy Father's Day Dad.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Greatness: Does It Run in Your Family?
"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
The rest of that statement, read by President Gordon B. Hinckley on September 23, 1995, outlines the best possible way to have an great family. Why? There are a few reasons I want to outline that explain, both from scientific and scriptural standpoints.
1. Numerous studies, including this one, have shown that heterosexual marriage is healthier for both partners. This is not, however, always due to social tensions in general society regarding this issue. Relationship stability is less likely as well, as shown by this study. Children are also prone to have a better relationship with their parents and a more stable life in a family with a mother and father, as noted by this study. This author mentions how children also get more respect and have more of a voice with heterosexual parents.
Now from a religious standpoint. If you look at biblical history, the only societies of which we have sure record who openly celebrated same sex intimacy and marriages and worse was Soddom and Gomorrah. Look what happened to them. Completely consumed. Now lets look at the other side of this. The city of Enoch was taken straight to heaven without tasting death. They were so focused on their God given roles as husband and wife, mother and father, they were so steadfast and unwavering in their commitment to the Father's design for their families that they ended up being too good to stay in the world or even to leave the world via death.
Greatness runs more in families with a mother and a father.
2. Kind conversation without one person interrupting another for any reason is another way to have greatness in your family. Yelling, violence and aggression don't make anything better. They will only make both parties feel worse off. Improving Your Relationship for Dummies mentions how taking turns, avoiding accusations, focusing on feelings and not just events or beliefs, and choosing to maintain a calm demeanor creates an atmosphere of kindness, civility and happiness. Elder Lynn G. Robbins said 'A cunning part of [satan's] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.” []“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!
To those who say, “But I can’t help myself,” author William Wilbanks responds: “Nonsense.”'
Greatness runs in families where everyone remembers "kindness begins with me".
3. Being selfless, in action and intent is the most sure way to influence others to be selfless toward you. From a secular perspective this study illustrates how, "in a paradoxical way, giving gets you more...". Also, according to this test mentioned in TIME Magazine, "Being a good friend, and being compassionate toward others, may be one of the best ways to improve your own health."
The Savior has counselled us as well to treat others the way you want to be treated. Would you like to have your wife speak your love language more? Speak hers more often and you'll get just that! How about a better position at work? Speak well and intentionally of others abilities and contribute your own selflessly. If you give the right recommendations for others, perhaps the boss will notice and think "This person seems to know a lot about who fits which position best. They need to be in a position of leadership." The more positive attention you give others, the more of it you will receive. Elder Neal A. Maxwell emphasized this when he said "there is more individuality in those who are more holy."
Greatness runs in families where everyone serves others without thought of reward.
4. There are several reasons why religion in the home provides a better environment for success, peace and joy for families. According to livescience.com, not only does religion make for more well behaved kids, when parents agree on religious beliefs it helps keep the home more happy than otherwise. The man who conducted the study mentioned in this article, John Bartkowski, mentioned that "The conflict that arises when parents regularly argue over their faith at home... has the opposite effect." The author of the article, Melinda Wenner, points out, as well, that "The kids whose parents regularly attended religious services - especially when both parents did so frequently - and talked with their kids about religion were rated by both parents and teachers as having better self control, social skills and approaches to learning than kids with non-religious parents."
According to the Son of God, the creator of mankind, "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." Regarding religion, or at least moral values, peaceful agreement and enforcement of the same values from both parents regarding these issues is far more likely to produce happiness in the home than the other way around. This doesn't mean families agree on every opinion of every individual, but at least on the core values of behavior, attitude, and belief.
Greatness runs in families where high moral values are agreed upon, taught and enforced.
All things considered, all of us are children of God. All of us have divine, Godly, royal parentage. When it comes to God's posterity, meaning all of us, greatness runs in the human family because of Him. All of us have divine potential. All of us have been bought by the perfect blood of our Savior and given a chance to grow into the person and responsibility He has given us a change to be and have.
So, in reality, anyone, when asked the question "Does greatness run in your family?", can and should answer YES! The only thing that remains to be determined is who will live up to it.
The rest of that statement, read by President Gordon B. Hinckley on September 23, 1995, outlines the best possible way to have an great family. Why? There are a few reasons I want to outline that explain, both from scientific and scriptural standpoints.
1. Numerous studies, including this one, have shown that heterosexual marriage is healthier for both partners. This is not, however, always due to social tensions in general society regarding this issue. Relationship stability is less likely as well, as shown by this study. Children are also prone to have a better relationship with their parents and a more stable life in a family with a mother and father, as noted by this study. This author mentions how children also get more respect and have more of a voice with heterosexual parents.
Now from a religious standpoint. If you look at biblical history, the only societies of which we have sure record who openly celebrated same sex intimacy and marriages and worse was Soddom and Gomorrah. Look what happened to them. Completely consumed. Now lets look at the other side of this. The city of Enoch was taken straight to heaven without tasting death. They were so focused on their God given roles as husband and wife, mother and father, they were so steadfast and unwavering in their commitment to the Father's design for their families that they ended up being too good to stay in the world or even to leave the world via death.
Greatness runs more in families with a mother and a father.
2. Kind conversation without one person interrupting another for any reason is another way to have greatness in your family. Yelling, violence and aggression don't make anything better. They will only make both parties feel worse off. Improving Your Relationship for Dummies mentions how taking turns, avoiding accusations, focusing on feelings and not just events or beliefs, and choosing to maintain a calm demeanor creates an atmosphere of kindness, civility and happiness. Elder Lynn G. Robbins said 'A cunning part of [satan's] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.” []“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!
To those who say, “But I can’t help myself,” author William Wilbanks responds: “Nonsense.”'
Greatness runs in families where everyone remembers "kindness begins with me".
3. Being selfless, in action and intent is the most sure way to influence others to be selfless toward you. From a secular perspective this study illustrates how, "in a paradoxical way, giving gets you more...". Also, according to this test mentioned in TIME Magazine, "Being a good friend, and being compassionate toward others, may be one of the best ways to improve your own health."
The Savior has counselled us as well to treat others the way you want to be treated. Would you like to have your wife speak your love language more? Speak hers more often and you'll get just that! How about a better position at work? Speak well and intentionally of others abilities and contribute your own selflessly. If you give the right recommendations for others, perhaps the boss will notice and think "This person seems to know a lot about who fits which position best. They need to be in a position of leadership." The more positive attention you give others, the more of it you will receive. Elder Neal A. Maxwell emphasized this when he said "there is more individuality in those who are more holy."
Greatness runs in families where everyone serves others without thought of reward.
4. There are several reasons why religion in the home provides a better environment for success, peace and joy for families. According to livescience.com, not only does religion make for more well behaved kids, when parents agree on religious beliefs it helps keep the home more happy than otherwise. The man who conducted the study mentioned in this article, John Bartkowski, mentioned that "The conflict that arises when parents regularly argue over their faith at home... has the opposite effect." The author of the article, Melinda Wenner, points out, as well, that "The kids whose parents regularly attended religious services - especially when both parents did so frequently - and talked with their kids about religion were rated by both parents and teachers as having better self control, social skills and approaches to learning than kids with non-religious parents."
According to the Son of God, the creator of mankind, "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." Regarding religion, or at least moral values, peaceful agreement and enforcement of the same values from both parents regarding these issues is far more likely to produce happiness in the home than the other way around. This doesn't mean families agree on every opinion of every individual, but at least on the core values of behavior, attitude, and belief.
Greatness runs in families where high moral values are agreed upon, taught and enforced.
All things considered, all of us are children of God. All of us have divine, Godly, royal parentage. When it comes to God's posterity, meaning all of us, greatness runs in the human family because of Him. All of us have divine potential. All of us have been bought by the perfect blood of our Savior and given a chance to grow into the person and responsibility He has given us a change to be and have.
So, in reality, anyone, when asked the question "Does greatness run in your family?", can and should answer YES! The only thing that remains to be determined is who will live up to it.
Monday, May 12, 2014
A Mother by Any Other Name Would Be as Beautiful
I had a hard time titling this post. But there are a few reasons I chose it. For those who haven't seen this video. The man in it talks about Motherhood as a job position. He advertises this job position as "Director of Operations" and conducts the interview via video conference. He says at one part that the job requires a "degree in medicine, finance AND the culinary arts." I think he should have also added psychology, sociology, nutrition, andragogy, pedagogy and philosopy for starters. You see, a mother is a doctor, an accountant, a cook, a psychologist, a teacher/mentor, and wife among many other titles, and whether or not she is known as a mother by others or as any of these titles, the fact of the matter is, the value of a woman who fills the role of mother, with or without children, is still effulgent no matter what she's called.
Now, I know that my mom fit all of these roles very well growing up. And she still does. BRILLIANTLY. I can't possibly count the hours she spent helping me with my piano lessons, paying for them, wiping my tears, giving her logic defying magical hugs, taking care of situations involving school bullies and bad teachers with fabulous tact, cooking, teaching my brothers and sisters and I to not be picky eaters (I think she did especially well at that one), cleaning up our messes when she should have made us clean them up, helping me find dates (which meant a lot considering I was not exactly popular throughout my childhood), being a chauffeur, paying crazy money for me to go to EFY, sending me countless words of encouragement while I was serving a mission and I wondered whether or not I was a failure, accepting my wife into the family with complete love and without hesitation when we were married, despite that fact that the way I went about our courtship was very hard on my family emotionally. And she did it all with class and a spiritual maturity I hope I can achieve one day. I could obviously go on forever.
I love my mom to death and to life.
But this post is mainly to focus on who I now term to be the worlds best mom. It was my mother, but I think she would even be okay with me saying that the woman who I see as the best mom in the world now is my wife.
I will only really be able to touch lightly on why that is, but at least allow me to attempt.
My wife had a measly two years of her life with a proper example of what a mother should be. She was abused heavily as a child and taken from her birth mother. She was then moved into two foster homes in a row. The second one constituted the two years where she had a good family, where the foster parents taught her good values and much more. When she was six she was adopted, her life of more extreme abuse began and it would continue in its most severe forms until she joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints about 17 years later.
But this is one factor in why she is such a fantastic mother, regardless of our lack of children to this point. Instead of taking the horrible treatment she got from her adoptive family and becoming bitter, angry, cynical and resentful about it, she took from it lessons of how NOT to be. The effects of the abuse, as well as the conditions surrounding her birth, still have residual effects to this day, but she handles them LIKE A BOSS. I can't count the number of times people have told her how wonderful she looks and how it's so great to always see her smiling and happy. As her husband, I know what's really going on inside much of the time. She is pretty much in constant physical pain in one form or another 24/7. Yes I said that right, 24/7. Almost every single second of every day, something hurts. Yet she handles it like a pro.
I have seen so many cases of people missing choir practice, missing church, cancelling something or any number of other things like that because they had a headache, the sniffles, a cough, a stressful day, are sad or depressed, etc and I want to scream at them sometimes (I never do and never will probably). I want to chew them out for whining about it because do you know how awesome my wife is? Do you know what she has done many times when she has the sniffles, a headache, a cough, a stressful day, is sad/despressed and more, ALL AT THE SAME TIME? She puts on a smiling face, acts happy and does what she has to do without complaint, and SHE ROCKS AT IT.
Oh and let me take it a step further. You know what she does when I say I want to chew people out for having a hissy fit when they have just one little tiny thing wrong so they "can't make it to [something]"? She loves them. She STILL doesn't complain. She STILL has a good attitude and tells me to take it easy on them!!! I have never, in my entire life, personally known of any other human being, not even my own mother, be able to pull a stunt like that while living with the physical and emotional crap my wife has to go through on a daily basis.
Oh I'm going too far now, you say?
Let me take it ANOTHER step further.
I hate (and love, in a weird way) to admit this, but I'm also guilty of the kind of whining about the physical ailments I mentioned and when I am really not feeling well, I am completely out of commission. I'm a huge weakling, I buckle like a toothpick under the weight of our apartment building. I'm a wienie and put on a terrible show because of how little pain tolerance I have when I get a bad headache or get real nauseous or when I've had a super stressful day. And just to put my wife over the top completely, if anyone would ever dare to hint that I haven't already, when I'm like this, you know what she does?
She takes care of me!
From her wheelchair, the best she can.
While she's in pain.
She does it without complaint.
Apologizes when she absolutely needs my help with some super tiny small thing. Apologizes!!
Patiently waits for me to feel better before asking me to do much at all.
And all while she is in her normal (yes, normal) routine of daily pains and aches.
I DARE you to find one mom who would do that for her husband, put up with the piano students she helps mother or other guests being late, being rude, not practicing, making her allergies go haywire by bringing some unknown allergen into the apartment or possibly making her ill by coming here even slightly ill, but yet never complains to them about it, continues to value their friendship, love them, celebrate their successes, be way more patient with their weaknesses than I believe she ever should be, and sets a fabulously Christ-like example for all who come into our home.
I DARE YOU. But I'm convinced you won't.
Anywhere. Period. If you do, I may just ask you for proof of some kind, recorded documented proof before I'll believe you.
She has taken the mostly horrible, devilish example she has seen from her younger years and had the faith in her Heavenly Father to turn it around become the exact opposite of that. Am I saying she's perfect? Honestly, I don't think she's far from it. Way closer than anyone I've ever seen in my life before, especially spiritually. And she's amazingly beautiful too ;)
The quote I've seen all over facebook from Elder Nelson that says something along the lines of 'Motherhood is the highest calling in all mankind' fits Lorraine perfectly. She has been called to pass through, and yet handle like champ, more garbage than I have ever personally known anyone to go through. I'm sure there are people out there who have been through worse, but I don't personally know any of them at all and those for whom I have at least heard stories about, I don't have any indication that they handle their situations as well as my wife handles hers, with the spiritual and emotional maturity that she does, putting her fears, sadness and pains on the back burner so as to not spread negativity to anyone else.
Does she have her days when she just needs to let it out, though, and feel what she needs to feel? Absolutely! But those days are so few and far between that I don't see the need to consider their weight in relation to all the other days. She would still pass any evaluation of how well she handles it all with flying colors.
Now to finish off.
I could go on for hours and hours, typing here. Seriously I'm not kidding. I could. I've only scratched the surface here.
But I'll make this simple. Like I said earlier, compared to her, I'm a wienie in all these areas. I'm the rottweiler of bad customer service. When I call a customer service line with a complaint, I get satisfactorily compensated. Every. Single. Time. (Well... almost every time) My wife is gracious enough to let me do my thing when it comes to how I deal with stuff like that, but that's pretty much the only time she lets me do that. She lets me act like a little two year old and throw a fit to them on the phone.
But when it comes to life experience, I'll be blunt about this. I grew up in a little box compared to her. I think she has the maturity, wisdom, patience, charity, virtue, kindness and about a billion things more, of an old lady who has survived a concentration camp in WWII and forgiven the killers who worked there. I believe that with all my heart, because I see it every day.
If anyone deserved and deserves always a happy mothers day it's my wife, Lorraine Pulsipher.
Happy Mothers Day My Love!!!
Now, I know that my mom fit all of these roles very well growing up. And she still does. BRILLIANTLY. I can't possibly count the hours she spent helping me with my piano lessons, paying for them, wiping my tears, giving her logic defying magical hugs, taking care of situations involving school bullies and bad teachers with fabulous tact, cooking, teaching my brothers and sisters and I to not be picky eaters (I think she did especially well at that one), cleaning up our messes when she should have made us clean them up, helping me find dates (which meant a lot considering I was not exactly popular throughout my childhood), being a chauffeur, paying crazy money for me to go to EFY, sending me countless words of encouragement while I was serving a mission and I wondered whether or not I was a failure, accepting my wife into the family with complete love and without hesitation when we were married, despite that fact that the way I went about our courtship was very hard on my family emotionally. And she did it all with class and a spiritual maturity I hope I can achieve one day. I could obviously go on forever.
I love my mom to death and to life.
But this post is mainly to focus on who I now term to be the worlds best mom. It was my mother, but I think she would even be okay with me saying that the woman who I see as the best mom in the world now is my wife.
I will only really be able to touch lightly on why that is, but at least allow me to attempt.
My wife had a measly two years of her life with a proper example of what a mother should be. She was abused heavily as a child and taken from her birth mother. She was then moved into two foster homes in a row. The second one constituted the two years where she had a good family, where the foster parents taught her good values and much more. When she was six she was adopted, her life of more extreme abuse began and it would continue in its most severe forms until she joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints about 17 years later.
But this is one factor in why she is such a fantastic mother, regardless of our lack of children to this point. Instead of taking the horrible treatment she got from her adoptive family and becoming bitter, angry, cynical and resentful about it, she took from it lessons of how NOT to be. The effects of the abuse, as well as the conditions surrounding her birth, still have residual effects to this day, but she handles them LIKE A BOSS. I can't count the number of times people have told her how wonderful she looks and how it's so great to always see her smiling and happy. As her husband, I know what's really going on inside much of the time. She is pretty much in constant physical pain in one form or another 24/7. Yes I said that right, 24/7. Almost every single second of every day, something hurts. Yet she handles it like a pro.
I have seen so many cases of people missing choir practice, missing church, cancelling something or any number of other things like that because they had a headache, the sniffles, a cough, a stressful day, are sad or depressed, etc and I want to scream at them sometimes (I never do and never will probably). I want to chew them out for whining about it because do you know how awesome my wife is? Do you know what she has done many times when she has the sniffles, a headache, a cough, a stressful day, is sad/despressed and more, ALL AT THE SAME TIME? She puts on a smiling face, acts happy and does what she has to do without complaint, and SHE ROCKS AT IT.
Oh and let me take it a step further. You know what she does when I say I want to chew people out for having a hissy fit when they have just one little tiny thing wrong so they "can't make it to [something]"? She loves them. She STILL doesn't complain. She STILL has a good attitude and tells me to take it easy on them!!! I have never, in my entire life, personally known of any other human being, not even my own mother, be able to pull a stunt like that while living with the physical and emotional crap my wife has to go through on a daily basis.
Oh I'm going too far now, you say?
Let me take it ANOTHER step further.
I hate (and love, in a weird way) to admit this, but I'm also guilty of the kind of whining about the physical ailments I mentioned and when I am really not feeling well, I am completely out of commission. I'm a huge weakling, I buckle like a toothpick under the weight of our apartment building. I'm a wienie and put on a terrible show because of how little pain tolerance I have when I get a bad headache or get real nauseous or when I've had a super stressful day. And just to put my wife over the top completely, if anyone would ever dare to hint that I haven't already, when I'm like this, you know what she does?
She takes care of me!
From her wheelchair, the best she can.
While she's in pain.
She does it without complaint.
Apologizes when she absolutely needs my help with some super tiny small thing. Apologizes!!
Patiently waits for me to feel better before asking me to do much at all.
And all while she is in her normal (yes, normal) routine of daily pains and aches.
I DARE you to find one mom who would do that for her husband, put up with the piano students she helps mother or other guests being late, being rude, not practicing, making her allergies go haywire by bringing some unknown allergen into the apartment or possibly making her ill by coming here even slightly ill, but yet never complains to them about it, continues to value their friendship, love them, celebrate their successes, be way more patient with their weaknesses than I believe she ever should be, and sets a fabulously Christ-like example for all who come into our home.
I DARE YOU. But I'm convinced you won't.
Anywhere. Period. If you do, I may just ask you for proof of some kind, recorded documented proof before I'll believe you.
She has taken the mostly horrible, devilish example she has seen from her younger years and had the faith in her Heavenly Father to turn it around become the exact opposite of that. Am I saying she's perfect? Honestly, I don't think she's far from it. Way closer than anyone I've ever seen in my life before, especially spiritually. And she's amazingly beautiful too ;)
The quote I've seen all over facebook from Elder Nelson that says something along the lines of 'Motherhood is the highest calling in all mankind' fits Lorraine perfectly. She has been called to pass through, and yet handle like champ, more garbage than I have ever personally known anyone to go through. I'm sure there are people out there who have been through worse, but I don't personally know any of them at all and those for whom I have at least heard stories about, I don't have any indication that they handle their situations as well as my wife handles hers, with the spiritual and emotional maturity that she does, putting her fears, sadness and pains on the back burner so as to not spread negativity to anyone else.
Does she have her days when she just needs to let it out, though, and feel what she needs to feel? Absolutely! But those days are so few and far between that I don't see the need to consider their weight in relation to all the other days. She would still pass any evaluation of how well she handles it all with flying colors.
Now to finish off.
I could go on for hours and hours, typing here. Seriously I'm not kidding. I could. I've only scratched the surface here.
But I'll make this simple. Like I said earlier, compared to her, I'm a wienie in all these areas. I'm the rottweiler of bad customer service. When I call a customer service line with a complaint, I get satisfactorily compensated. Every. Single. Time. (Well... almost every time) My wife is gracious enough to let me do my thing when it comes to how I deal with stuff like that, but that's pretty much the only time she lets me do that. She lets me act like a little two year old and throw a fit to them on the phone.
But when it comes to life experience, I'll be blunt about this. I grew up in a little box compared to her. I think she has the maturity, wisdom, patience, charity, virtue, kindness and about a billion things more, of an old lady who has survived a concentration camp in WWII and forgiven the killers who worked there. I believe that with all my heart, because I see it every day.
If anyone deserved and deserves always a happy mothers day it's my wife, Lorraine Pulsipher.
Happy Mothers Day My Love!!!
Monday, May 5, 2014
Our Relationship With God
I find that so many people these days of many religions, including many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, including myself sometimes, may not be truly understanding our relationship with God the way it really is, or at least, as it should and can be. The more I have heard people's opinions and perspectives regarding our Father in Heaven and how they think of Him, the very concept of Father, in association with Him, is, I think, not given near enough importance. I don't say this to diminish the fact that He is, most assuredly, the most powerful Being in the universe and our God, but rather to focus on the indescribable beautiful truth that this all powerful, all perfect and all knowing God is, in absolute fact, also, quite literally, our Father!
I love the way Jack R. Christianson (author of The Mortal Christ) put it. I don't have the direct quote here but in that book he mentioned how it shouldn't be any wonder to us that the one title God wants us to know Him by the most is "The Father". I echo him in asking, should it really be that surprising to us that God asks to be known as our Father? I don't think so. Now wait a minute. Do you know what that means? Our Father, our literal Father, is the greatest and most powerful being in the universe!
Take a second to let that sink in. Just say this once to yourself: "My Father is the most powerful being in the universe". It's a mind blowing concept. I prefer, though, to think of it as the most wonderful and reassuring thing ever. Yes, most, if not all, Christian people out there have heard this many times, but bear with me here. In today's world, many would find it next to impossible to give a fitting perfect description of what the perfect father would be like because of the limitations of a mortal perspective. But I find it very hard to believe that a Father who loves us perfectly, totally, completely, without a trace of hesitation or reservation no matter what we do, would ever want us to think of Him in any other way.
If the veil were to be taken from us completely, even for a small moment, I think we would, as I read it from the work of a certain Latter Day Saint: "not remember sharing Father... with [our siblings, but] being individually and singularly loved and cherished..." I think we would "remember Father well, His power and majesty, His face, His hands, His form, His touch and tender care... playing with Him, running [our] fingers through the soft hair on His arm, laughing with Him, going to divine destinations, sampling future earthly delights, tasting new things, viewing divine events, watching galaxies and eternities flare into being under His hand."
I believe 100% that I got private piano lessons from Him, may have played with the celestial equivalent of legos with Him, learned from Him about earthly technology and how to use it for good.
I think He took a paternal interest in each of our individual personalities and helped us develop and enjoy our different interests and abilities to the extent that we could without physical bodies. I see no flaw in this logic considering that He weeps when we weep, is overjoyed when we experience life's purest happiness and is sad when we stray from Him. Good heavens, He sent our Eldest Brother, Jesus Christ, to willingly, deliberately and lovingly suffer every last ounce of everything unpleasant we would ever experience and set the ultimate example for us so we wouldn't be lost out here in the world;
So we would have something to guide us;
Protect us;
Make a way for us to change and be like Them;
A way for us to never have to worry about the terrifying thought of being alone and purposeless forever; He loved and loves us with a FATHERLY - let me say that even louder, FATHERLY - love that is so untainted, so absolutely personal and intimate with each of us that such a thought is not something He was willing to tolerate.
And the most beautiful part of all of this (to me anyways)? He has shown us how to be like Him and thus how to have this indescribably perfect love with us every second of every day, through His Son, Jesus Christ. This road map, example or whatever else you want to call it, is there 24/7/365 (or 366 on leap years), not being guarded by anyone. Not being protected by a password. It's not padlocked, behind closed doors or even wrapped up in a bright shiny box. It's sitting there in plain sight, in broad daylight, right in the words of the prophets and all we have to do is take it and use it! Right now, all day, every day! It will never not be there!
One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Nephi 26:24-28. Part of this passage says "Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price...Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men..." I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't imagine a perfect Father figure doing things any other way.
Now I'm going to take this one step further. Think of everyone you have ever met. Actually I take that back, because our mortal memories, in most cases, aren't capable of that kind of thing. So how about this instead? Take a few seconds to think of as many people as you can towards whom you have ever had negative feelings.
Here comes the interesting part. Guess what? God, our FATHER, loves them just as much as He loves you.
Personally.
Perfectly.
Singularly.
Intimately.
Profusely.
Flawlessly.
Without a trace of reservation or hesitation.
No matter what they've done to you or anyone else. He loves them the same.
Wow. That even hurt me to type that. I now feel just a little worse about every bad thought I've ever had about another member of our Father's family. But you know what else? And this helps me feel a lot better all of the sudden. He still loves me and you the exact same way. That hasn't changed, and it never will, whether you like it or not, whether you feel worthy of it or not, whether you think they are worthy of it or not. So I have a challenge for all of us.
The next time you or I feel like being angry, resentful, jealous or any other negative thing toward one of our brothers or sisters (meaning anyone, remember we're thinking on a basis of familial relationships here), lets remember that we have the same Father and it breaks His heart to see so much contention between us all even if it only resides in our minds and hearts, it tears Him apart inside, for lack of better words at the moment, to know that we feel such things about our own family. We all loved each other before this life the same way He still loves us. We have the same spirit in us that we did before this life. That perfect love is still a part of us, even in this life.
Lets find it and then use it.
Lets love ourselves and everyone else, like He does.
I love the way Jack R. Christianson (author of The Mortal Christ) put it. I don't have the direct quote here but in that book he mentioned how it shouldn't be any wonder to us that the one title God wants us to know Him by the most is "The Father". I echo him in asking, should it really be that surprising to us that God asks to be known as our Father? I don't think so. Now wait a minute. Do you know what that means? Our Father, our literal Father, is the greatest and most powerful being in the universe!
Take a second to let that sink in. Just say this once to yourself: "My Father is the most powerful being in the universe". It's a mind blowing concept. I prefer, though, to think of it as the most wonderful and reassuring thing ever. Yes, most, if not all, Christian people out there have heard this many times, but bear with me here. In today's world, many would find it next to impossible to give a fitting perfect description of what the perfect father would be like because of the limitations of a mortal perspective. But I find it very hard to believe that a Father who loves us perfectly, totally, completely, without a trace of hesitation or reservation no matter what we do, would ever want us to think of Him in any other way.
If the veil were to be taken from us completely, even for a small moment, I think we would, as I read it from the work of a certain Latter Day Saint: "not remember sharing Father... with [our siblings, but] being individually and singularly loved and cherished..." I think we would "remember Father well, His power and majesty, His face, His hands, His form, His touch and tender care... playing with Him, running [our] fingers through the soft hair on His arm, laughing with Him, going to divine destinations, sampling future earthly delights, tasting new things, viewing divine events, watching galaxies and eternities flare into being under His hand."
I believe 100% that I got private piano lessons from Him, may have played with the celestial equivalent of legos with Him, learned from Him about earthly technology and how to use it for good.
I think He took a paternal interest in each of our individual personalities and helped us develop and enjoy our different interests and abilities to the extent that we could without physical bodies. I see no flaw in this logic considering that He weeps when we weep, is overjoyed when we experience life's purest happiness and is sad when we stray from Him. Good heavens, He sent our Eldest Brother, Jesus Christ, to willingly, deliberately and lovingly suffer every last ounce of everything unpleasant we would ever experience and set the ultimate example for us so we wouldn't be lost out here in the world;
So we would have something to guide us;
Protect us;
Make a way for us to change and be like Them;
A way for us to never have to worry about the terrifying thought of being alone and purposeless forever; He loved and loves us with a FATHERLY - let me say that even louder, FATHERLY - love that is so untainted, so absolutely personal and intimate with each of us that such a thought is not something He was willing to tolerate.
And the most beautiful part of all of this (to me anyways)? He has shown us how to be like Him and thus how to have this indescribably perfect love with us every second of every day, through His Son, Jesus Christ. This road map, example or whatever else you want to call it, is there 24/7/365 (or 366 on leap years), not being guarded by anyone. Not being protected by a password. It's not padlocked, behind closed doors or even wrapped up in a bright shiny box. It's sitting there in plain sight, in broad daylight, right in the words of the prophets and all we have to do is take it and use it! Right now, all day, every day! It will never not be there!
One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Nephi 26:24-28. Part of this passage says "Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price...Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men..." I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't imagine a perfect Father figure doing things any other way.
Now I'm going to take this one step further. Think of everyone you have ever met. Actually I take that back, because our mortal memories, in most cases, aren't capable of that kind of thing. So how about this instead? Take a few seconds to think of as many people as you can towards whom you have ever had negative feelings.
Here comes the interesting part. Guess what? God, our FATHER, loves them just as much as He loves you.
Personally.
Perfectly.
Singularly.
Intimately.
Profusely.
Flawlessly.
Without a trace of reservation or hesitation.
No matter what they've done to you or anyone else. He loves them the same.
Wow. That even hurt me to type that. I now feel just a little worse about every bad thought I've ever had about another member of our Father's family. But you know what else? And this helps me feel a lot better all of the sudden. He still loves me and you the exact same way. That hasn't changed, and it never will, whether you like it or not, whether you feel worthy of it or not, whether you think they are worthy of it or not. So I have a challenge for all of us.
The next time you or I feel like being angry, resentful, jealous or any other negative thing toward one of our brothers or sisters (meaning anyone, remember we're thinking on a basis of familial relationships here), lets remember that we have the same Father and it breaks His heart to see so much contention between us all even if it only resides in our minds and hearts, it tears Him apart inside, for lack of better words at the moment, to know that we feel such things about our own family. We all loved each other before this life the same way He still loves us. We have the same spirit in us that we did before this life. That perfect love is still a part of us, even in this life.
Lets find it and then use it.
Lets love ourselves and everyone else, like He does.
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