Superpowers and Not So Super Powers

Anyone who knows me well or even just reads most of my blog entries knows I have Asperger's syndrome. I've made a few posts over the years on facebook about this subject and I feel the need now to do a post about it here. It's not meant to be just about me, though. My goal with this one is to promote awareness and provide some understanding.

When you speak to someone about the condition who knows more than a little about it, one thing you'll likely hear someone often is that when you've met one person with Asperger's you've met one person with Asperger's; meaning this: There are similarities between all people with it but it also can manifest very differently from person to person. One Aspie [person with Asperger's] may be extremely anti-social or even completely non-verbal, go into utter panic mode when routine is broken and yell and scream when something bothers them or be heavily developmentally delayed. Another, however, may be extremely intelligent and high functioning, but have the social skills of a gnat. Yet another may not be as bothered by disruptions in routine and be very independent and capable, but have extreme difficulty putting thoughts and feelings into words that accurately and tactfully convey the message.

There are several different degrees of the condition. The most common (although not universal) symptoms I am aware of are

1. Either non-verbal or excessive, burdensome verbal communication, 
2. Great irritability and loss of capacity to function properly when something familiar is altered or routine is unexpectedly changed.
3. More developed intelligence and/or creativity within a very limited area of interest that surpasses most others in the same demographics as the Aspie.
4. Extreme difficulty understanding social cues and reading between the lines in a conversation and 
5. Heightened senses or sensitivities in one or more areas.

There may be more but I'm no psychologist (although I do like psychology) and wouldn't be able to come up with a conclusive list of typical symptoms in the moment. I can't speak for anyone with Asperger's but myself, but as a part of my efforts to help others understand what it's like and thereby encourage more compassion and comprehension of what to expect from and how to help one of us, I can at least explain what it's like for me. Some of our abilities feel superhuman to us and some it feels utterly crippling so I'll try explain some of the differences there as well.

If you've ever seen the movie Fight Club (which I actually don't recommend), the most memorable quote from it might be "First rule about Fight Club. Never talk about Fight Club." In my mind, the exact opposite is true of Asperger's. "First rule about Asperger's. Talk about Asperger's." So here we go.

Symptom numbers 1 and 4 go hand in hand for me, I'm obviously on the talkative side of number 1 that and it often gets me into trouble. Something you should know first is that I. LOVE. PEOPLE. I really love people, easily, always, with a depth human words can't explain, especially when they reciprocate my expressions of love (friendly, familial or romantic). Whether they do or not, the "superpower" behind this is I can focus on how much I care about a person so much that even if I am absolutely livid at them or terrified, I feel emotionally incapable of blocking them out. I care enough to think "I'm so scared/hurt/angry at them but the thought of not making this right and helping them feel better scares/hurts/frustrates me even more." This causes problems with how hard I try to resolve contention between me and anyone else. The harder I try to resolve it the more overwhelmed they feel.  Another reason my talkativeness gets me in trouble and becomes not so super is frequently because of how much I try to "fix" what I'm saying. I feel everything I feel so strongly that I perceive a constant need to keep readjusting my wording, tone and body language to make sure my ideas and intent are being conveyed to someone else flawlessly so there is no room for misinterpretation.

I grew up in an environment where I was often misunderstood because my lack of tact and sense of social cues. I was, therefore, often bullied in school for coming off as weird, rude or breaking social "rules" that I either didn't understand or thought were just plain stupid. Out of desperation to correct my mistakes, my efforts to make up for my unintentional tactlessness were often in excess, overwhelming others and driving them further away from me emotionally. This still happens today and I struggle with it every day. On top of this, when I'm doing my best to listen to people when they talk to me, more often than not I have to look away from their face in order to really take in what they are saying. I process spoken words like a computer analyzes a chess board. I almost always completely miss body language and facial expressions and therefore, according to my wife, miss 90% of what they are saying. I get so focused on words, their definitions and how they fit together with the tone of voice to gather the meaning and intent of what I hear that anything they communicate with their body or face

As for number 2, have you ever been working on something so intensely and with so much deep focus that if someone says "hello" to you it throws you completely off? You know, when you're "in the zone"? Well I get "in the zone" with every single thing I do to the point where I literally forget to shower, sleep and eat, even when I'm hungry. Who do you know that can literally skip a meal only because they were so focused what they are doing that they could "turn off" innate impulses for the sake of their masterpiece? This "superpower" proves both super helpful but also extremely dangerous.

It's dangerous when it comes to sinful impulses of the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19 in the Book of Mormon) but wonderfully helpful during scripture study, cleaning up the house, writing music, blogging :) and practicing piano. The biggest not so super social problem with this for me is when I'm super involved in what I'm doing and something with my wife's pain goes haywire or someone arrives at our home unannounced or whom I had just forgotten was coming or something like that. Nothing around here is ever boring, but we still manage to keep things at least predictable enough for us to keep our sanity and when something "throws a wrench" in our plans or, for me, interrupts something I'm super zoned into, I have a really hard time dealing with it emotionally. You should have seen the last time we had to go to the hospital unexpectedly. It has taken me almost 10 years to get to the point where I can even remain in a somewhat rational head-space while getting everything she needs ready for us to go, whether by ambulance or just riding there.

The "superpower" behind number 3 comes in when I am hyper-focusing on one of my niches. My wife sometimes gets annoyed and tells me how badly I need to 'change the channel' from these four things: Religion and Religious Literature, Technology, Music and Movies (especially sci-fi, marvel and dystopian). When I get zoned out in any of these areas, I retain what I am learning, comprehend what I'm doing and perceive it all in context of my life so clearly that others often get annoyed with the intensity of my excitement about it. I see hundreds of gospel parallels in everything I see and hear and understand how all the individual details of the principles shown therein would most effectively and optimally fit, enhance and enrich the greater whole of life and reality. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to explode with wonder and joy when I see things that clearly. The only not so super part of that is when I "come back down to earth" I almost never know how to put what I now understand into words that won't offend or sound like gibberish to the listener and still accurately represent what I know, think and feel. I often tell my wife and my closest friends that english (or any mortal language) is stupid because none of it is sufficient to explain how I really feel, what I really understand and what I'm really thinking.

I wrote a historical fiction yet to be published called The Stripling Warrior about the 'might-have-been' son of Abish (see Alma 19:16 in the Book of Mormon) as he grows up to fight in Helaman's army of stripling warriors (Alma 53, 56-58) and there's a part in there where I snuck in a little sci-fi where two of the characters accidentally find a way to communicated their thoughts and feelings to each other telepathically and directly from heart to heart without audible words or facial expressions. I have felt for a long time that that kind of communication, when God shows us how to do that, is the only way I'll ever be able to show people what I'm really thinking and feelings.

When I'm trying to discuss something I'm quite passionate about and someone disagrees with my perspective I immediately feel an insatiable urge to understand their contrasting viewpoint and, more importantly, find out what our different viewpoints have in common. In my efforts to do this, I have to have all other distractions silenced. In the case of number 5, in our place the TV is usually on just for noise if Lorraine isn't watching a cooking show and I have to have the TV and sometimes even the AC turned off just so I can even focus on what she's saying without being overwhelmed by too much information at once. I often get way too easily confused about what someone might mean by a phrase that could be taken, like, 5 different ways and 3 of them are really mean so I have to find out which way they meant it and that doesn't often go well. I hate shows like Dr. Phil because he always lets people talk over each other and argue about the stupidest things. There's rarely any "one person at a time" or "speak calmly or don't speak" or anything else that is actually conducive to a civilized conversation. I get overwhelmed extremely fast when one person is talking over another.

Another helpful analogy that paints a picture of Asperger's is a brain that processes small pieces of information so fast and so in depth that too much stimulus from too many different directions at once is totally overwhelming. If a computer had Asperger's syndrome, it would probably have a few TB of RAM, a 5 PB HD and processor that runs at several TeraHertz. You'd only be able to run 1 program at a time, perhaps with one more running idly in the background, but you could accomplish more with that one program in 5 minutes than most other computers could in a day. If a car had Asperger's you'd have more horse power, better fuel efficiency and navigation system than most other cars, but less than average handling and really shoddy brakes.

When it comes to emotions it's a similar thing. We can do a lot in some areas and not much in others. Sometimes we appear to have very little empathy or concern for others opinions and feelings, but this is not true at all. As one person on Tumblr put it, "We lack cognitive empathy: the ability to predict others thoughts and intentions, including the ability to "read between the lines" during communication. We have plenty of affective empathy: the ability to share another person's feelings with them. We have plenty of compassionate empathy: the desire to help others (although we may not always know how). Many of us have [FAR] too much affective and compassionate empathy which can be overwhelming for us." The good part about this for those without it who have difficulty with our quirks is that we never have a hidden agenda. There are no "lines" to read between in our verbal communication. We mean what we say, which is why I'm always correcting myself to make sure my wording is 100% accurate. Communicating online is so much easier for me because I can see what I've said and adjust it all I want before hitting 'send'. I can't do that in verbal communication. But seriously, honesty is paramount for us (unless we are scared to tell the truth for fear of being misunderstood).

In a nut shell, we love. We love A TON. We just don't always know how to direct that love the right way or express it in ways others understand and we almost never have ulterior motives.

When It Feels Good to Be Wrong

I've been struggling to come up with what to write that last few months but after a recent issue that has come up in the public eye, I have something I could go on about for hours and that's a good thing because it's actually quite a beautiful irony in my own life and others as well I'm sure.

If you haven't, watch National Treasure with Nicolas Cage.  It's a really cool movie.  For those who haven't seen it, the movie is about the hunt for the Templar Treasure.  Ben Gates (Cage) is following clues, built by the Free Masons into things like the liberty bell tower, the dollar bill, the declaration of independence, all of which most people believe are just radical, ridiculous conspiracies that are just a bunch of hogwash.  But Ben believes the treasure exists and ends up finding all the clues, that they are all completely real and just before the end, they find what they think should be the treasure room in a series of underground caves, from what the room looks like, but there's no treasure there.

Ben's father Patrick (Jon Voigt) has been reluctantly pulled into the treasure hunt by that point and has believed the whole time that they're just searching for nothing, that Ben is delusional and overly obsessed.  However, when they find the supposed treasure room, Ben gets discouraged because there's no treasure there and Patrick says this: "This room is real, Ben.  And that means the treasure is real.  We're in the company of some of the most brilliant minds in history because you found what they left behind for us to find, and understood the meaning of it.  You did it, Ben, for all of us - your grandfather and all of us." and this is the awesome part that leads into what I want to talk about, "and I've never been so happy to be proven wrong."

Happy to be wrong about something?  Yup!  I've been there before, too and if you approach that thought from the right angle it feels great.

The issue that I believe warrants my writing about this is the controversy surrounding Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing for Trump's Presidential Inauguration.  I'm not here to talk about whether they should or shouldn't sing (though I think they are setting a Christ-like example by doing so).  I'm also not going to talk about the member who quit the choir because of that event.  I'd like to ask my readers to consider this.  Whether you dislike Trump, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's choice to sing for his event or anything, what if you're wrong?  Whether you think that the kid who was mean to you in school was just a mean-hearted jerk or that one customer service rep was rude to you because they just don't care about anything but money, what if you're wrong?  Perhaps you think that teacher graded you unfairly or that politician is corrupt to the core and has an evil heart or that person who sent you a mean comment on facebook finds some sadistic pleasure from trolling you or seeing you get upset, but what if you're wrong?

Of course there are people who are actually like that, but only God knows the hearts and minds and deep feelings and motives of everyone personally.  Honestly, I do believe that most politicians don't really have as much interest in the public good as they say they do, but do you know how happy I would be if I found out that I was wrong?  If I found that they really are trying their best to look out for everyone under their jurisdiction?  I would be ecstatic to know that that customer service rep was just having a bad day and wished they could correct their mistake.  I would be overjoyed to find out that someone I love who appears to be losing their faith is just going through a phase and that they would come out of it stronger.

There are so many examples of assumptions we make about negative things, in politics, religious, social drama, etc. that we would be so much happier about if we found out that we are wrong.  Does Trump seem like he will be a terrifying tyrant of a president?  To many, yes.  And their fears and frustrations are real.  But what if they're wrong?  That would be a huge relief for them to find out, right?  I personally believe that Obama was the worst president in the history of the world, that his presidency was littered with scandals and tyranny, broken promises, carelessness and brazen dishonesty, but I would also love it if I found out that many of the negative things I've heard about him are simply misrepresentations of truth or even complete lies.

We all say we all hope for and desire a better world, but do we really?  A lot of us today seem to seek more for the latest bombshell about that one bad thing that person did and find entertainment in speaking our mind against perceived injustices.  This is ridiculous.  Part of our purpose in this life is to be happy.  With society as saturated as it is with bad news and more bad news and more bad news, you would think that if people really wanted to be and stay happy that they would be looking for reasons to disbelieve negative news about people.

One good way to do this, I believe, is to consider the last part of this quote (don't know the source):

Small minds talk about people
Average minds talk about events
Great minds talk about ideas

I shake my head in disbelief when I see people obsessing about that one reality show, the "racist", "bigoted" or "sexist" statement made on social media when there are things much more deserving of our attention, good things that needs to be given more attention so that people have reason to rejoice about the good in the world.

Am I suggesting that we disregard the negative things that, to be sure, happen everywhere?  Of course not.  There are seemingly countless people in legitimately really hard circumstances who need our help, empathy, condolences, etc.  But with all that kind of thing in the world today, does it not make sense to seek for reasons to disbelieve that rumor about that celebrity or to doubt that that person who cut you off on the road today is a bad driver?  Maybe their father or sister is sick and they are scared and are trying to get there as fast as possible.  You'd feel better knowing that people are better than you think they are.  You'd likely feel more peace knowing that you are mistaken and that there's really nothing to worry about.

There's already enough negative things that actually do happen and enough people who really do have evil in their hearts all the time.  I'd say it's about time we stop succumbing to the hype that news sources try to induce for the sake of "controversy" and "attention" and shift our focus to good people, great ideas, hard work, forgiveness, love, great achievements, cheering for the underdog, celebrating goodness, truth, courage and honesty.  I'd say it's about time we stop being afraid to say about our negative perceptions of people, "I hope I'm wrong."

Abuse vs. Discipline

I suppose it was only a matter of time before I wrote about this subject matter on my blog.  It's highly controversial and people on both sides of the issue seem to be permanently at odds about it.  Most on both sides get started in their discussions (or arguments) when the word 'spanking' comes up, but my purpose here is to focus on the issue of abuse vs. discipline from a broader angle.

Many of my comments here will be taken from former LDS Stake and Mission President Dr. John L. Lund's "Without Offense - The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism", but, as always, statements from God's prophets as well.  I feel a need to clarify here that this is not in response to a specific conversation I have had with anyone about this kind of thing, but rather an effort to clarify what I believe to be some key points of the subject.  As a disclaimer, there is no intent in how I present my thoughts here to say, in any way, "my way of thinking is the right way, period."  I respect everyone's right disagree with me, so long as that disagreement is peaceful without any passive aggressive or sarcastic comments.

First off, I think of Dr. Lund's book was when he said "In order to be a disciple of Christ, we cannot belittle the worth of another. Ever! It cannot be tolerated.  We never have the right to attack the inherent value or self-worth of another--not in jest, not in the heat of anger, not out of frustration, not out of our own personal weakness, Never! Never! Never!  This means no name-calling, no swearing at someone, no epithets.  It means no spiritual, physical or emotional abuse.  This is a nonnegotiable.  When someone is called "dumb" or "stupid," it is an attack on his or her worth.  To attack self-worth is presuming a right that we ... do not have."

The part that most people bring up and argue about most frequently in debates, though, is the physical part.

Many cite the Savior in the temple as justification for displays of "righteous anger" or physical aggression.  Says Dr. Lund about this, "Anger is a choice.  It is a poor choice, because it transfers the focus from the message to the messenger.  The scriptures do not support anger as a Christlike behavior.  [And I would add it is not listed as a Christ-like attribute in the Preach My Gospel manual either.] There are those who support anger as an appropriate Christian behavior under the guise of "righteous indignation."  They use Jesus cleansing the temple to substantiate their view of righteous anger.  The assumption that Jesus was angry while driving out the money changers is not reinforced in the scriptures."

When it comes to discipline vs. abuse, there is one thing about it that most people miss.  While I do understand that mortal standards for perfection are different celestial standards, as Brad Wilcox said in regards to grace, "We are not earning heaven, we are learning heaven."  How can we claim to be learning celestial standards if we deliberately condone or excuse non-Celestial behaviors here?  I understand that some kids can be extremely and deliberately rude and outright abusive to others.  But how often do we consider that likely 99% of the time, kids and teenagers act like that because of some pain they are trying to mask?  I know full well what it's like to turn to bad and/or addictive behaviors because of unaddressed pain, physical, emotional, spiritual or otherwise.

My parents did their best to address my concerns and, yes, they resorted to physical means of resolving issues on occasion (which, according to recent conversations with my mom, it seems they regret doing that now).  However, my wife can tell you that certain social/communication bad habits I picked up as a child are still a big problem for me today (*edit, this was written in 2016, things are VERY different today, in 2024), mainly because the most frequent response I received about my bad choices were to the effect of "You did this wrong! How could you be so careless?!  You know better!" and I was either hit (least frequently), dragged to my room, yelled at or (most frequently) lectured.  The worse the offense, the less positive reinforcement there was after the reprimand the longer the duration and/or intensity of punishment.  Don't get me wrong.  My parents were and are great.  Compared to the rest of the world, I was raised in a very good home.  Did they have weaknesses, yes, but who doesn't?  I don't hold any of that against them.  I'm not trying to make this about them.

I'm also not trying to play victim here.  I take full responsibility for my own poor choices.  The reason I bring all that up is because it's easier to prepare a child properly than to repair and adult.  Most people who I see side with the "it's just discipline" side of the argument were spanked as children.  They often resort to statements like "I was smacked as a child and I ended up with a condition called respect for others", or "I was hit on the butt growing up, yes, but do you think I ever [did that bad thing] again? nope."  The problem that many don't see with these kind of statements is that they condone fear as a good motive to get people to do something.  While fear can be a powerful motivator, it is not the motivator we should rely on.

As Aristotle once said, "wicked men obey because of fear, good men, from love."  Several of God's servants in His church have reinforced this wisdom.  Elder Brewerton quoted it nearly verbatim in the May 1981 Ensign.  Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles said "Spiritually mature obedience is "the Savior’s obedience." It is motivated by true love for Heavenly Father and His Son."
Elder Osguthorpe said " There are all kinds of motives out there. And many of them are not pretty. We might be motivated by revenge or envy or greed. Selfish motives are abundant. ...we might be motivated only by grades or by our desire to get into graduate school or to begin a career. These are not necessarily evil motives, but they’re not enough... We can even do good things with less than laudable motives. Quoting his father, Mormon, Moroni wrote that if we give "a gift, [and] doeth it grudgingly; . . . it is counted . . . the same as if [we] had retained the gift; wherefore [we are] counted evil before God". Motives matter. They matter a lot. In the end, why we do things is probably more important than what we do. Evil acts are always motivated by evil motives. But acts that might appear to be good on the surface may not be fueled by pure motives. And one of the purest motives of all is love."

I've not heard of a single instance where, in the exact moment where a parent hits their child, they felt anything but fear or anger.

To makes things as fair as I can, though, I'll also cite this one from President Faust: "Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another. I do not know who is wise enough to say what discipline is too harsh or what is too lenient except the parents of the children themselves, who love them most. It is a matter of prayerful discernment for the parents. Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment."

This being said, I am very well aware that there is such thing parent abuse, where kids are so defiant that it quite justifiably becomes a legal problem.  This is just as bad if not worse, to me, as physically striking a child.  However, there is a really good story in Dr. Lund's book where he talks about a 14 year old girl who was extremely abusive to her parents and they acted like a door mat, allowing her to walk all over them because they didn't want to "give her more ammo" to misbehave.  Obviously that is ridiculous.  Eventually a counselor was sought for help and a quite rigid solution was proposed.  This young woman was given a few simple rules to follow and the parents reluctantly agreed to set some very firm boundaries which, if violated, would result in her drivers license date being pushed back a week.  Before long she had the date pushed back to after her 18th birthday.  She continued in her belligerence.  On a certain day, to the girl's surprise, a couple of big Samoan guys came to haul her off, kicking and screaming, to a troubled girls facility.  She was given rigid rules and opportunities to earn back her freedom.  Eventually, when she learned that her parents meant business, she turned her life around.  Today, according to Dr. Lund, she enjoys a loving relationship with her parents.

And all that without a any physical aggression from her parents.  Not every situation would work like that of course and different solutions for bad behavior and habits work better for some people than for others, but I believe the message about how the Savior would respond to bad behavior, as outlined by Dr. Lund in this example is clear.  Respond with firmness but with love, and nowhere in the scriptures is love defined as physical aggression.

I know some people try to use Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son."  This was more closely associated with the law of Moses, a law the Savior replaced with a higher law.  Even President Hinckley said "I have never accepted the principle of "spare the rod and spoil the child." I will be forever grateful for a father who never laid a hand in anger upon his children.... Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement."

To wrap things up, I want to re-emphasize what Pres. Faust said "Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment."

No, they're isn't any "one size fits all"way to raise children or even communicate with every person, adult or child.  Such a thought is ridiculous, but I'm stickin' to my guns by affirming that I completely believe there is always a better solution, whatever it may be, to enforcing good and correcting bad behavior than striking another human in any way. I think the only exception would be if someone's life is in immediate danger and the only way to preserve it is to injure someone in some way.

Love conquers all.

Your Word is Your Bond

Let's face it.  2016 is little more than half over and it's already been a horrible year for the world as a whole if you focus on major news sources.  But I write this one in hopes that it will serve as a helpful, even if momentary, means of focusing on something positive.

I took down a quote from The Infinite Atonement in my currently second time studying thought it that goes like this: "It may have been that such a covenant [to atone] helped sustain the Savior in the Garden when all his apparent spiritual and physical energies had been exhausted, when there was “nothing left” to combat the Evil One and sin itself but the pure covenant to atone.  How many such covenants have lifted men to loftier heights, conferred upon them added strength, and generated newfound reservoirs of resistance when all else seemed to collapse around them?  So it may have been that, in some way, this covenant satisfied the laws of justice for those who lived before the Atonement was performed, and, in addition, helped to sustain the Savior in his hour of greatest need."

Why did Savior's promise to atone have such an infinite effect, eternally into the past, currently, and forever into the future?  What made that covenant have such a powerful effect.

I think the answer lies in the principle illustrated in this part of the script from the movie John Q: "And if you say you'll do something, do it, because your word is your bond."

Right there, "your word is your bond."  I don't need to tell someone "I promise I will..." in order to make a promise.  If I tell you I will do something, that I will be somewhere at a certain time, have something done by a certain date or keep something to myself, I have made a promise.  I have given you my word that that's the way it will be.  Even Jesus taught this when He said "But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."  While I understand the purpose of signing documents and such - because of course that's not a bad thing - we shouldn't have to do anything more than make a simple statement to consider what we say to be a solid guarantee.

Another part in that chapter in the Infinite Atonement says: "Over long eons of time in the premortal realm He proved faithful and dependable and honorable in every commitment, every responsibility, and every charge. The scriptures tell us that 'from eternity to eternity' he is the same[].  He never deviated from the mark, never slacked in his performance, never shrank from his word... His promises were 'immutable and unchangeable'[].  As a result, his spiritual credit was rapidly escalating until it was pure gold, even infinite in value.  That is why the laws of justice could recognize the benefits of the Atonement before the purchase price was ever paid, because of his promise, his pledge, his credit was "good for it"..."

I know it's easy to think of all the people in the world today who don't live by this standard, but let's focus, instead, on why it's so much better to just be a better example of being honest ourselves.  I use the word honesty because many people think about honesty as just telling the truth, but it goes so much further than that.  According to Marvin J. Ashton, of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles of the LDS church, "any communication given to another with the intent to deceive" is a lie.  You don't need to speak something false to be dishonest.  Breaking a promise, not doing what you say you will do the way you say you will do it, using facial expressions that are inconsistent with what you are really thinking or feeling or anything else that even hints at communicating an idea that is inconsistent with the truth are all form of dishonesty.

Honesty really is the best policy.  I know from personal experience that life becomes much easier if I keep everything completely transparent.  From words to facial expressions to voice inflection and more, the more I make my whole life and character a reflection of honesty, the easier things are for me.

This includes, as mentioned earlier, covenants.  When it comes to my promises to my Heavenly Father at baptism, and each week when I partake of the sacrament, that I would have faith in His Son Jesus Christ and follow His example and His prophets, breaking those covenants is being dishonest.  Having dealt with the struggles that naturally come from breaking those covenants, I learn more every day why keeping them will make us so much happier, independent of anything else going on around us.

As with Christ's atonement for us, the power receive from Him to accomplish the impossible and be happy comes directly from those promises.  Whether that means I forgive more easily, serve with more pure intent, speak with more love or act with more integrity, etc., it will always make my life that much better.  Of course, our natural, impure, mortal inclinations make that difficult from day to day, but King Benjamin put it well when he said "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

I remember days growing up where my dad had promised he would make sure something was done for someone.  No matter what came up in the day that threatened to prevent him from accomplishing something, he made absolutely sure he "stuck to his guns" and got it done.  Sometimes that meant volunteering my siblings and I to help accomplish the task (especially when it was something mom wanted done), but he was a man who always did what he said he would do and was always focused on telling the truth, even if it was inconvenient to him.  I remember many times where I would say something like ", I messed up.  I scheduled [whatever it was] during your [whatever my mom had scheduled for that time]."  Because he was consistent with this, I don't remember a single time where my mom got angry with him.  Slightly frustrated, maybe, but they were always able to work things out with out too much stress because they were both people of their word.

It's also harder to get angry, hurt or too easily offended if we are honest in everything we say and do.  Thomas S. Monson once said, "There is no friendship more valuable than your own clear conscience, your own moral cleanliness—and what a glorious feeling it is to know that you stand in your appointed place clean and with the confidence that you are worthy to do so".  If you know that you have been honest, that you have been totally honest and shown the truth and entirety of your intent, without even a hint of withholding or misrepresenting what is in your heart (in a kind way of course), then you really have no reason to worry about what anyone else but God thinks, do you?

Some things most worth doing in this life are recognized by God alone.  When the Savior went into the Garden of Gethsemane, He didn't hold anything back.  There was no fanfare, no procession, no grand ceremony to call attention to this the single most important and loving act in the history of creation.  Yet He didn't shrink from the suffering at hand.  He faced the painful onslaught of all human weakness, temptation, sin, and other imperfection with only mortal defenses without using His infinite power to shield Himself from the effects of it in any way.  He approached this in all it's rawness with complete candor.  If anything, according to Tad R. Callister, He actually used His Godhood only to put off the twin relief mechanisms of the threshold of human suffering, death and unconsciousness, actually making the suffering that much more poignant.

He did that for all of us.  He did it unapologetically.  He did it with no hesitation, no back-pedaling, second guessing or asking what was in it for Him personally, totally out of love for us.  He is the epitome of complete honesty, in intent, word, deed and character.  And look where and who He is now.

For many reasons, it takes us mortals a while to learn and develop faith in that kind of transparency but I have faith that as I keep trying to become that kind of person that with His grace, through the power of His Atonement, will make that ideal a reality.  I trust Him that it will happen, that what some days appears impossible to me will come to fruition, bringing with it the joys of exaltation in the world to come.

What Do The Things You Are Focused On Say About You?

Since this year isn't over quite yet, I couldn't look up the most popular google search for 2015 worldwide, but in 2014 it was Robbin Williams.  Others in the top ten included Ebola, Ice Bucket Challenge and ISIS.  To be perfectly honest, this is actually quite comforting to me.  This may seem strange to some, especially my regular readers, considering my entry about what types of things we should be comfortable with, but hear me out.

Of course, Robbin Williams death was a really sad thing to all who loved him around the world, there was tons of controversy about the Ice Bucket Challenge and ISIS -- well that's just never a pleasant subject.  But the fact that these were among the most searched things on the planet says something about humanity in general.  To me, it says that if you look at the entirety of the world population, at humanity as a whole, we care about each other and seek for each other's well being and safety.  I think it shows the overwhelming, innate desire that God put in each of us to care for each other, to make sure we are all safe and happy as much as possible.

From a Latter-Day Saint perspective, this matches the Plan of Salvation perfectly.  The Book of Mormon so effectively reminds us that "men are that they might have joy", that "it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad."

But going back to my main train of thought, based, at least, on the most frequent concerns of people worldwide as reflected by google (among other sources as well), God's plan is going forward well.  People are, at the core and as a whole, focused on finding happiness, the very thing God intended us to be, even if they don't know exactly how to find it.  Latter-day scripture emphasizes this point further: "For there are many yet on the earth ... are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it"

But let's get down to brass tacks now.  The world at large is still focused on happiness, but where are you or I or those closest to us focused?  The Lord tells us that "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."  Yes, we will all be distracted from moment to moment and from day to day, but is the general direction we are heading leading us away from or toward the ultimate happiness the Lord has in store for us?

W Network is great this time of year because they have a ton of Christmas specials on that focus people's attention to things the Savior taught, like integrity, honesty, combating fear and hurt with faith and hope, etc.  As a kid I was, understandably so at that age, focused a lot on getting "stuff" for Christmas.  My mom had to actually either give us money and say this is for you to go and buy something for [enter sibling's name here] for Christmas or even go out and buy something from them for us to give to them and say "this is from you to them, so go wrap it up yourself and put that it's from you and put it under the tree" just to get us to even think about what we could give to others.  It's not something I'm proud of, but it says a lot about what really mattered to me as a kid.

Well, my perspective has drastically changed since then and the things that make me happy now are much different from back then.  I try so hard every year to think of something I can get or do for my wife without her knowing so the look on her face on Christmas day can be so happy I'll never forget for the rest of eternity.  However, she's very creative with her questions to me and she ends up finding out about most things she gets, if not all of them, every year.  There's still one thing I have planned for this year that she doesn't know about yet so I hope it stays that way.  But either way, my priorities are so different from how they used to be that I feel much better about what my focus says about me know compared to, heck, even as recently as 5 years ago.

It's nowhere even close to what I want it to be and I have so much to improve on that sometimes I wonder if my future self, say 10 years from now, would look at me and just shake his head in shame, but I know for a fact that I'm on the right track, that where I want to be, the kind of person I'm trying to turn into now is nowhere near as petty and selfish as were my aspirations 10 years ago.

I think it's healthy to give, minimum, a good 10 to 30 minutes a day just reflecting on what our priorities are saying about, or doing some kind of self evaluation.  Would you rather spend your Sundays doing something with some kind of commercial emphasis or give every effort to strengthen your relationship with our Father in Heaven?  Would you have the courage to turn down a business transaction on the Sabbath or kindly encourage a random stranger to stop smoking?  Is social media or the scriptures more appealing to you personally?  Do other's successes (especially when it would have been your success) bring you joy or envy?  Are you likely to use expletives (profane or not) when angry or frustrated?  You can find questions like these at the end of chapter 6 of Preach My Gospel and they are a fabulous way to get a good idea of what needs improvement.

Please don't get depressed because of this.  My purpose here isn't to in any way do a rewrite of Alma 5.  Rather, it is just to make us think about both ends of the spectrum, where we are doing right and where we can improve.  What do the things you are focused on say about you?

Beautiful Ironies

Irony: "An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning."

My goal in this post will be to illustrated how, much of the time, ironic truths are the most beautiful and joyful.  In support of this idea, Alma, Paul, and Christ Himself have declared that being temperate (balanced) in all things is a quality of a perfected individual.

To start out, the stories of Ammon and King Benjamin are powerful examples of fantastic leaders because of their humility, desire to serve and get right in, up close and personal, with those they serve.  They were such amazing leaders, given charge over so many people because of their understanding of the people they lead.

In the show Undercover Boss, the chief officers of companies like 7-Eleven, Great Wolf Lodge, DirecTV, Subway, the Chicago Cubs, Retro Fitness and ADT go undercover, disguised as someone else, to work with the "little guys" to see how things really work and what the real problems are with those who actually work first hand with the public.  I think this is also a great example of that concept.

*The only way to truly be an effective leader is to understand, on a first hand basis, those they lead by serving them.*

Another great irony is that those who are the most humble, who do not seek or desire power and authority no matter the reason are those who receive it the most.  The Savior taught this effectively in His sermon on the mount: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."  Why else would the the Father and the Son choose Joseph Smith, an everyday, ordinary farm boy with little to no formal education or social expertise, to restore Their church?  The same thing applies to Jesus' apostles, Moses, Enoch and so many others throughout secular and religious history.

When Moses was called, he replied with "O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue."  His awareness of his overwhelming weakness made him exactly the kind of person God would choose to lead others.  Enoch responded to his call to be a prophet with: "Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?"

These two, however, were two of the most powerful leaders, with the support of the Savior, in the history of the world; and it was because of their humility, meekness and their focus being completely on other good things when they were called.

Continuing on, I have personally come to see, in my own life, that the more I have my focus on simply doing good, being kind and seeking humbly to be a force for good in whoever's life I can has resulted in more attention and opportunities to do so.  As much as I have not done that, I have received less attention and been ignored more.  The point in my mentioning this is to illustrate the concept that those who don't seek for recognition and attention, but rather go about doing good completely selflessly, will actually get more recognition than they expect and will find more joy in such.  I had a concern for a while about my gifts, talents and individuality being diminished by not trying to, even tactfully, get attention.  Even if the reason I sought for attention was good, what I was not realizing was that, as Elder Maxwell said: "there is more individuality in those who are more holy."

Something that has, as well, become an increasingly more joyful and fascinating truth is that, while we are "less than the dust of the earth" as a result of our being the most disobedient of all of God's creations, He considers us His greatest creation.  We are the only of God's creations with the capacity to become like Him, through Jesus Christ.  We are His children.  We are of the race of God and, therefore, naturally have inherent in us limitless potential if we choose to take the course of action that will lead us to that possibility.  His love for us is greater, despite our nothingness, than anything else in the universe!  Feel free to take a second to let that sink in.

The most beautiful irony of all is that the Greatest of all of God's children willingly sunk to the lowest state that any man had or would ever go to, and now, because He overcame that state, He can make us equal with Him if we follow Him.  Christ is the perfect example of all of the previous ironies I mentioned.  He was the single most submissive, meek, virtuous, humble man of God's children who ever lived, entirely focused on simply serving selflessly, never asking for personal attention for His own sake, always redirecting praise He received to His Father.  Now look at what He has become because of that.

He is the Alpha and Omega, One with the Father, the One through whom our salvation is made possible, the King of Kings, Lord or Lords, the Master, the Servant and I can think of none of God's children who has more of His individuality and worth enhanced than our loving Redeemer, the Son of God, Jesus the Christ.

Beautiful ironies indeed. :)

Got Questions? 9 Ways to Get Answers to Your Toughest Questions.

Face it, learning is a part of life.  True, many of the lessons we learn come more easily than others, but sometimes we come upon situations or circumstances that cause us to seriously consider life's deepest and most meaningful questions.  I think it's safe to say that everyone, at some point, questions things like the existence of God, the role and validity of Jesus Christ, the role religion and family play in society, what constitutes good and bad and more.

Here are 9 things I have noticed about the process of finding answers that has always worked for me and I can personally guarantee will work for anyone with an open mind, based on my own experience.

1. Pray.  God is the source of all truth.  To the majority of all religious or otherwise spiritual individuals today, this isn't an issue up for debate.  We know from whom all truth comes to us; and our Father in Heaven loves us and is only waiting for us to ask and ready our hearts for the love and truth. He so eagerly seeks to give us, to teach, show and help us comprehend the truth piece by piece.  Keep in mind the critical nature of the triality (see ending note) of that statement.  He wants truth to be a part of our understanding as well as the very core of our being, our very nature.  Never feel that God is not interesting in showing and revealing all truth to you as you are ready to receive it.  All we need is to ask for it and He will prepare us to receive it if we don't resist Him.

2. Meditate.  Why else would the Savior command His people to "...ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand..."?  Our mortal minds are so weak compared to His.  He understands that many things He teaches us will take some time for us to wrap our minds around.  As we make a habit on consistently focusing our thoughts on His gospel and how we can better live and understand it our comprehension of the love and truth of it all will come, in our mind and hearts.

3. Stay humble.  I don't care whether someone is completely incapable of speaking, reading, writing or communicating audibly or visually with another human being or on the other end of the spectrum, a genius, a member of Mensa or something to that effect.  There is always something about which each human being, on an individual and collective basis, understands little to nothing.  There is always some area of life that someone is going to understand exponentially better than you.  In the case of God, He understands EVERYTHING so much better than us that it surpasses our capacity to fathom just how far ahead of us He is.  There are many things that, from a mortal perspective, we just are not going to understand, period.  But isn't that the beauty of it, that even at the level He is, He still remembers and perfectly comprehends what it's like to be in our circumstances and lovingly wishes to bless us in our efforts to come to know Him?  He doesn't look at us from an attitude selfish of "man you people are so ignorant and far below me, you have no clue how much you are missing", but rather, a loving and kind "I'm not nearly as concerned with how far you have to go as much as I am with how far you want to go and what I want to give you whenever you are ready for it." As long as we keep that in mind and acknowledge how little we really know compared to Him and keep our hearts tuned to Him, our potential will remain limitless.

4. Seek with intent.  If someone were to ask a psychologist how to have a successful relationship and then choose not to follow their advice, there wasn't a point in asking the question in the first place was there?  (I'll get to the idea of not following opinions blindly later)  The same applies to asking God, or anyone far that matter, for answers.  If you want to know the truth about something but are not willing to let that truth effect your perceptions or behavior, maybe you weren't ready for the answer in the first place.  So if you want to know truth, you'd better be prepared to accept it when it comes and live by it, no matter how it may contradict what you thought was right.  The process of trial and error will always eventually get you where you need to be so long as you are perfectly honest with yourself.

5. Get facts from the source.  I've said this many times before in different places, but if you wanted to know about black history, should you go to the KKK to find out?  If you wanted to learn to play the piano, should you go to a school of business to learn?  Should you go to a Pentecostal church to learn about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints?  Should you go to someone who is not God or sent by God to learn about Him?  Obviously not in all cases.  If you want to learn about black history, ask a professor of the subject.  If you want to learn about how to play piano, go to a school of music.  If you want accurate information about the LDS church ask the LDS church!  If you want to learn about God, ask Him and search His words via prophets, ancient and modern!  It's really not any more complicated than that.

6. Use reasoning.  God has counselled us to use our minds and powers of reasoning and not just accept one mans opinion of something because it sounds legitimate.  He has given us the ability to seek out all perceptions or perspectives of a subject matter, test them and reason through them in our minds and then, when we have come to the best answer we can find, take it up with Him and ask.

I remember a very effective illustration of this point made, possibly unintentionally, by W. Cleon Skousen in this talk:

"...in Sunday School they talked about the terrible suffering of Jesus on the cross, I would say to my teacher, "Who wanted that anyway? Who was all that suffering for? Who is it to satisfy?" And my teacher would reply, "Well, it was to satisfy Heavenly Father." That didn’t answer my question. It seemed that if Heavenly Father wanted us to come to the earth, after we repented, all he would have to say was, "Come on back. You did the best you could." Why do we weed all this suffering? And all my life, at least until I went on my mission, I asked those questions.

So one day I was riding along with President Widstoe, who was in charge of all the European Mission. I was only 17 when I was called on my mission, and I thought that this was my chance to ask Brother Widstoe all these questions that had been on my mind since I was a little boy and so I asked him. "Who told you to ask me that question?" And I said, "It’s my question. Nobody told me to ask it."

So he said, "This is the most profound question of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and it shouldn’t be answered until people are at first capable of wondering about it so they can understand the answer. So I’ll share the answer with you over a period of time." (And if you’ve never wondered, you can stop reading right here.)

"That’s great!" I said and started getting out a pen and paper. "If you’ll just give me the scriptures, I’ll write them down." He started to tell me, "One scripture is in the [Doctrine and Covenants], another is in the Book of Mormon." "Aren’t you going to give me the chapter and verse?" "I wouldn’t deprive you of the pleasure of finding them yourself." "

He nailed it right there!  Is it not such an incredible feeling when you struggle to find an answer to something for a considerable amount of time and finally find it in it's purest form, or work on something really difficult and you finish it to find it's perfectly done, just the way you intended it?  I would rather have the deep satisfaction of knowing that I worked my heart out or put every bit of my heart and soul into finding an answer and then finally see things clearly from a divine perspective than having something spoon fed to me on a silver platter and having nothing to show for it.  What a waste!  I want the pure joy of having my heart and soul transformed from my search for truth.

7. Test the truth.  How can you more effectively and surely know what is true than to see the effects of it first hand in your own life?  I can't even begin to know the truth of what it feels like that have cancer, how to win an international competition, manage a large company, to suffer the loss of a child.  I may be able to understand these things from a second hand perspective, from careful tutelage, but that's where my perspective ends unless I experience it first hand.  I still don't comprehend truths of these things fully and can't claim to until I've experienced it myself.

What I can say, absolutely, that I know from first had experience is the benefits and blessings of paying tithing in the Lord's church, the joys of pure honesty, the validity of the healing and transforming effects of the Atonement of Christ, the joys in the process of mastering an advanced piano piece, getting a complex segment of Javascript to work perfectly, just to name a few.  Why?  Because I tested these things myself, of my own will and choice, and I've got something to show for it.  There's really no feeling in the world quite like that.

8. Learn to recognize the Holy Ghost.  One person may feel it differently from another, but truth is only fully understood when it is known first hand in the mind and heart.  It takes practice over a lifetime to truly understand the language of the Spirit, but always remember that The Holy Spirit (or Holy Ghost) "bears witness of the truth... so deeply that no earthly power or authority can separate him[ or her] from that knowledge" (President James E. Faust, April 1996).  Another way to look at it is that truth not only seems and appears correct, it feels correct and is eternally and constantly provable.

I know, from the power of the Holy Ghost, that Jesus is our personal loving Savior, that God loves us, that His plan for us is perfect, and that the Book of Mormon is true, that it's truly another testament of Jesus Christ, that I have a responsibility to spread goodness with my gifts in music and that honesty is always the best policy no matter what among other things.  It's harder to forget or be complacent with truth as long as it's a part of who you are in your heart.

9. Want it.  If you really want to know the truth, not only will it be sweeter to you, you will be more likely to get it.  As we seek for knowledge with a humble heart and desire to have it and use it for good God will engineer our circumstances to bring that truth to us in it's purest form.  He has told me that, through the exercise of my faith, I would receive good answers to questions and problems that need solutions throughout my life.  I want it.  He knows it.

I will forever seek His help and counsel to me in all things.

After all, He is the source of all truth.

Notes:
Triality definition: a union or junction of three; threeness; a word invented after the model of duality.
visit the link, search for "triality" and click the JPEG link next to "Century Dictionary"

#LDSConf - Why You Should Watch

Seriously, it's better than the superbowl.  It's better than the Emmy's, the Grammy's, Academy Awards, the Oscars, the YTMA's or anything else of that nature.  Yes, I'm talking about General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; and yes, it really does deserve way more attention than any of those other things ever did.

I'm going to start this one on a serious note because of the importance of the subject matter.  I'll also do a follow up entry based on the content of this years General Conference.

It happens every six months and there is, quite honestly, no better time of the year to have hear the word of the Lord as close to straight from the source as you're guaranteed to get.  Why do you think the world is so overly saturated with distractions like SNL, The Kardashians, "beliebers", the Harper Lee controversy, one way trips to mars, the latest gadgets from Apple, 50 Shades of Crap and more? *edit* This was written in March of 2015, so different problems are more prevalent today, of course.

(er... excuse me, 50 Shades of Gray - I know, I know it's no mystery how I feel about that)

The devil has been working hard for thousands of years and has more practice than most people have any idea at using mankind's biggest weaknesses to distract us from those things that are most important.  You see, as Jack R. Christianson said, the devil "doesn't have to worry about most of the world.  Most of the world doesn't care about coming to Christ, so he doesn't worry about them; because he's not worried if they do terribly sinful things.  What he's worried about is that they just don't do good things.  See, either way it doesn't matter.  You can go to hell by sinning, but you can also make it there by just not doing any good.  He doesn't care if you go out and commit all the grievous sins.  What he cares about is that you don't come to know the Master; because if you come to know the Master, you'll want to repent and you'll want to apply the Atoning blood of Christ and when you apply the Atoning blood of the Master, then you can be cleansed and you can overcome anything and the adversary knows that."

So he applies all his time to lying to us and distracting us the best he can to keep us away from true happiness, or, in other words, coming to know Jesus Christ, the real power of His love, His atonement and become like Him by studying and listening to words of God's prophets.  He doesn't care whether or not we are miserable as long as we just aren't seeking true happiness through the Messiah, the living Son of the living God.

That's at least one reason you should watch, to make sure you don't let distracting desires of the natural man within you be exploited by the adversary.

What's another reason?  I remember one line of the cartoon movie "The Sword in the Stone" where Merlin tells arthur "[D]on't you get any foolish ideas that magic will solve all your problems.  Because it won't!  [Authur] But, sir, I don't have any problems.  [Merlin] Oh, bah, everybody's got problems.  The world is full of problems."  I don't care who you are.  If you say your life is problem free, you're deceiving yourself.  No matter how happy we are, there is always a problem to face, several times a day, no matter how big or small, obvious or subtle, whether or acknowledged or ignored.  It just depends on how you deal with it.  I love, therefore, the beautiful truth that the solution to literally EVERY. SINGLE. PROBLEM. that ever was, is, or will be, can be found in the words of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as spoken through the Holy Ghost to His servants, the prophets and to us to confirm their words.

No matter how dark or bright your life appears to you right now, there is something you need to hear from General Conference, some bit of help you need, something you need to be reminded of, something you need to repent of, something about which you are too complacent, something you're over-thinking too much, something you are not thinking enough about, something you need help overcoming, someone you need help forgiving, a habit you need help breaking, or forming, or something else you are lacking in your life or your heart.  There is ALWAYS something everyone - EVERYONE - needs to hear at General Conference.

If you need a reminder of just how awesome conference is.  Watch any of these:

by Jeffrey R. Holland

by Dallin H. Oaks

by David A. Bednar

by Gordon B. Hinckley

by Boyd K. Packer

by Ronald E. Poelman

by Jörg Klebingat

This site posted an article called "The Worst talks ever". I'm not writing to talk badly about anyone and I don't know who is responsible for this article, but it looks like the adversary got a hold on someone's heart enough here so that they felt a need to label any prophets words as "worst".  Prophets are one of God's key ways of emphasizing the truth in Jacob 4:13 "Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls."  Thus, since we understand most easily when we are spoken to in ways we can relate to or understand, God speaks to us through the Holy Ghost and confirms the truth of the words spoken by prophets.

We are so stubborn and far to prideful for our own good most of the time.  From the mouth of Joseph Smith, who saw God and His Son in person, "There has been a great difficulty in getting anything into the heads of this generation. It has been like splitting hemlock nuts with a corn-dodger [a piece of corn bread] for a wedge, and a pumpkin for a beetle [a wooden mallet]. Even the Saints are slow to understand."  There is a reason God commands us to get a constant flow of the love of His Son in our lives, through study and application of the scriptures/words of prophets.  Our level of understanding is so far below His that that is what it takes for us to eventually become like Him.

The last reason, kind of a two in one, I will give to watch conference is summarized by what I read this morning in Alma 26, where Ammon spends an entire chapter glorying and rejoicing in God and the strength and ability we get from Him to be good, be happy, be healed, protected and changed.  There are many more reasons, of course, but I'll end with these.  In verses 15 and 16, Ammon says "15.  Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.  16.  Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel."

One of the best ways to be reminded of how good we really have it, as illustrated in verse 15, is by presenting it in contrast to the opposite side of things.  It really is much easier to tell how white something is by placing it against dark colors, speaking both figuratively and literally;  and in verse 16 we are reminded of the completely independent, raw, all consuming and encompassing, rich love and power of God in and of itself.  We can never say or hear too much of the word of the Lord, within our ability to comprehend.

So to all who read this, I beg you, whether or not you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whether or not you are even Christian, whether or not you are even religious or spiritual or whatever else you are, I BEG you, for the sake of all that is good, for the sake of all that is holy, watch general conference.  Watch all the sessions.  Watch them and take notes.  Watch with a question.  Watch with a prayer in your heart.  Watch to rejoice.  Watch to be healed, to be happy, to be ready, to be protected, to receive guidance, or whatever other reason you want to use.  Don't make excuses. Just watch and see how it benefits your life.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/

Be of Good... or not good (?) Comfort

When I was in my late teens, my brother Brian was a huge influence on me.  I remember one time when he was studying scriptures during breakfast shortly after his mission to Argentina, Brian mentioned Matthew 9:22 (I think that was the one, I could be wrong) where the Savior says "be of good comfort."  He elaborated out loud for a moment about the significance of that adjective in front of the word comfort, how it implies that there are bad kinds of comfort as well, perhaps things with which we should not be comfortable, as well as things with which we should be comfortable.

Even though that was one fleeting moment for less than a minute that morning during breakfast, it never left my mind.  I have pondered on it many times since. It leads me to think, "how many little fleeting moments or small comments or other communications have I put out there that have either made or broken someone's day, helped heal or ripped wider open a wound of some kind, or any other influence of high consequence to which may have been completely oblivious?"  It also leads me to think, "I am comfortable around and with Godly things or is there something with which I need to become more familiar and comfortable?  Are there some conversations, music, media or other people or things around which I am too comfortable or calloused towards?"  I firmly believe that everyone, without exception, should, at least periodically, do a real hard, in depth evaluation of themselves and be completely, candidly honest about where they are in respect to how comfortable they are and should be around the good and bad in the world.

My wife and I have been making what we feel is a good amount of spiritual progression in the last year and while we still have a long way to go, we feel that we have a clearer perspective of God's plan and the role and Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Accompanied with that has come a greater resolve to make changes in our lives for which we have been so blessed!  We have noticed that certain things have become easier to do (or not do).  We have felt a greater commitment to serve, to change our motives, habits and decisions in ways things that our pride or fear had previously prevented and have seen the resulting benefits from our Father in Heaven and our Savior.

Amid these changes, I have grown to look forward to the coming of our Savior with more excitement and have more faith in His power to protect and change us.  I have felt less fear and greater hope amid the calamities that surround us in the world today, mainly because I know what these events are signalling, especially considering the exponentially growing forces and glorious influence of Jesus Christ and His church around the world.

Of course, there will always be areas where I need to improve in this life.  As I was talking about these changes one day to my parents, my mom gave me a good reminder that, while it's a good thing to not allow ourselves to be fearful about the horrors happening around the world, we also have to be careful that we do not allow ourselves to become callused to them either.  We have to be careful that we do not develop and attitude of "Well the world is always getting better and worse and I just expect things to go wrong now anyways, so oh well. The Savior is always more powerful than evil so I'll not pay any attention to this."  While this kind of thinking is a good display of faith, it is not a good display of charity, pure Christ-like love.

Christ was the perfect example of faith in the face of danger, but He was also the perfect example of concern and love for those affected by the challenges of mortality in all cases.  To some, this may appear as a hard balance of perspective to achieve and, of course, it will always be easier for some than others, but the objective either way should be the same.

From the little habits of scripture study, using proper language in prayer, and defending our faith to the big things like paying tithing, keeping our hearts and minds chaste, and making temple attendance and family a regular focus, the level of comfort we feel with the good and the bad should always be improving.  We need to work to be comfortable, anxious for, familiar with and seek for those things which will bring us to know the Master better, obey more willingly, become more like Him and trust Him more completely; we also need to be less comfortable with violence, immorality, contention, grudges, gossip, irreverence, foul language, crude humor, dishonesty and anything else that does not invite us to "come unto Christ and be perfected in Him", even in their most subtle forms.

BEING BETTER

So I have been slowly learning throughout the past year or so some things from my life experience about being better and I would like, before I start, to specify a few things first. My goal in all of this will be to focus on the being part as opposed to doing. Doing better is such a wonderful thing, but as I will explain here, being better not only includes doing better, it makes doing better easier and makes it a part of our nature. Keep in mind that my comments come from an active Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) perspective. My entries here are not officially endorsed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For anything official about that church, go here, or here. Also, I have mild to moderate aspergers, so keep that in mind too :D. I may just digress from time to time in this and future posts, for one reason or another. Having said that, I'll get started. What does it mean to be better? I think a good place to start in getting a solid, complete answer comes from a short story I have heard a number of times. It's from a talk by Dallin H Oaks titled "The Challenge to Become". The quote goes like this: " A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted. The father said to his child:

'All that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.'

Lets take this a bit deeper. If we honestly take a look at ourselves and ask, 'Why do I do the things I do, say the things I say, go the places I go? (etc)' many people might answer with such responses as 'because I need to provide a living for my family', 'because I want to set a good example for others', or 'because that's the way my personality is'. The possible responses are probably limitless, but I'd like to focus on what I think is the real underlying reason why we do, say, think, or believe anything. Simply because we want to and because we believe, at least in the moment we do it, that it will bring us happiness (or at least make us less unhappy). Whether it's providing a living, being a good example, obeying our inborn personality type, or even just not getting ourselves into trouble of any kind, I am suggesting that reason behind it all is that, in each passing moment, we believe that, what we do/say/think/believe in that moment will result in our happiness in some way.

So with that, I think the next focus point should be based on those reasons and, instead of what they are, what they should be. Years ago, I remember seeing my mom holding a paper with a specially formatted message titled something close to "Family Mission Statement". I don't remember the entire text of it, though it was relatively short, but I remember at the end it mentioned that even though we all make mistakes and do wrong things, we should always get back up and continue on, doing the right things, and this was the key part, "for the right reasons". Since I am writing from and LDS perspective here, I'll point out that the right reasons are always determined by the Lord; and because one of the best places to find His standpoint is in the scriptures, I'll go there for a moment to illustrate what these 'right reasons' are.

image from ucsichristianfellowship.files.wordpress.com

I'll go first to the Pearl of Great Price, specifically Moses 1:39, where the Lord says, "For behold, this is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Wow! I don't know about you, but that makes me feel pretty good! God's entire focus and purpose in everything He thinks, says, does, or believes if for the sole reason of making our immortality and eternal life a reality! Similar to the example I used earlier about the wealthy father, though, He can't just make this happen instantly be snapping His fingers. He knows that only way we are ever going to have a life completely free of worldly cares is by following His example and living the way He did. This includes changing our motives to match His. Christ lived a life completely dedicated to His Father, without even a shadow of straying.  

Thanks, to the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have assurance that there's a way out, repentance whenever we do not live that way. I want to point out one more thing. Every human being that ever did, does or will live has the ability to make choices for themselves (agency). So the whole point I am trying to make here is I believe that what being better means is choosing the change the reason we do things, or in other words, choose to change what we want, to change our very desires. Stop wanting things you shouldn't want.  Is this hard? You bet it is! But, as Nephi said in the Book of Mormon, 'The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.' So it is most definitely possible, and it is a must if we want to not just DO, but BE, better people.

In conclusion, just think of the question "Who are you?". The best answer to this, besides our personal names, would probably not be something like 'a banker', 'a web developer', 'a doctor', 'an astronaut' etc. Instead, maybe something like 'a father', 'a mother, 'a daughter', or maybe best of all 'a disciple of Christ' would be more fitting; Because the role we serve in our occupations doesn't necessarily require us do anything more than just go through the motions of the job description without regard to why we are doing it. To really be an effective disciple of Christ, however, we must choose to change our inner motives to things like 'because God has asked me to and even if I don't understand, He's knows better' or 'because I want to help this person regardless of who they are', or, possibly best of all, 'because I want to do what's right, for no other reason than the fact that it's just the right thing to do'. We need to choose to change our desires to be the same as His.