Layers

One of my greatest difficulties communicating with Asperger’s syndrome has to do with how deeply and powerfully I feel (emotionally) and the seemingly formless amoeba of ideas in my head that I struggle to put into some semblance of spoken language. This becomes particularly challenging when I’m trying to find the right word to express something. More often than not, adjectives like amazing, huge, beautiful, horrific, painful and difficult are pathetic and almost insulting when compared to the magnitude of what I really think and feel.

My wife has suggested that this difficulty of mine actually comes to me because I have true charity, but don’t know how to harness it properly yet. I was told in my patriarchal blessing that charity would be my most used spiritual gift, so I do believe that my feelings reflect that gift of the Spirit, but that I haven’t “grown into it” yet.

But the main point I want to make with this has to do with things prophets have expressed as paramount concerns in our lives. I’m talking about things like studying the Book of Mormon daily, working hard at building our relationships, families and homes, and learning to develop the gift of discernment. Much of that has to do with the idea expressed in this quote from Visions of Glory by John Pontius (pg. 65):

“…anytime Christ descends and speaks to a mortal, it is so weighty with meaning that mere words cannot convey the fulness of the truths given. The message is layered. First are the words He speaks, and then there is a vastly larger body of truth you receive spiritually, layer upon layer, more truth than you can understand for years afterward. One small moment in the presence of the Savior can last for a lifetime.

This is the reason the scriptures are so powerful, because they contain the words spoken by Christ, and this layered truth is still there, spiritually interwoven with those words. It takes a lifetime of spiritual growth and obedience to be able to receive the deeper layers. They are truly there, and they contain the great mysteries and greater truths He desires that we acquire and enjoy in our lifetime” (p. 65).

Those spiritual layers aren’t just in the scriptures, but in everything Christ created, including us. Everyone has those spiritual layers to them. Everyone has all the minute, nuanced details of our thoughts, feelings, desires, experiences and beliefs written in layers into every fiber of our being. All of this information is forever woven into our very sinews, so as John Pontius says at another point in his book, Christ can literally read us like a book.

I have pondered on this idea for a long time and wished and longed and yearned and desperately desired the ability to do that.

If you’ve seen Ender’s Game, you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say this, but there’s a part where Ender wonders if, instead of attacking their alien “enemies,” there’s not a more diplomatic solution. Since they can’t speak English and their communication is more telepathic, Ender wonders, “What if we could communicate with them? What if we could… you know… think to them? What if they could think to us?”

Obviously the Lord’s plan for me has not yet allowed me to have telepathic or empathic abilities. However, something like that would be so helpful for me to dig through all the spiritual, emotional and mental layers of those I love so I could communicate more the true nature of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences completely and accurately.

A specific example of the true force, sanctity, and power of being able to dig into deep spiritual layers is illustrated in Tad R. Callister’s book The Infinite Atonement when he writes about the angel who came to minister to Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Yes, I know I reference that book a lot, but there’s just so much good stuff in there! Here’s the quote:

“What divine messenger offered such aid? … Certainly at such a critical moment in the destiny of man, this angel must have been a being of towering stature [spiritually]. [The Angel] could not take the Savior’s place … but what he could do, he no doubt wanted to do. Perhaps he was there to console him, to comfort him, to support him, maybe even to bless him. The scriptures are silent as to the nature of the exchange between Christ and his angelic visitor. No doubt this was one of the those moments so sacred it was not to be recorded in the annals of man. Evidently certain thoughts of the [S]pirit are so lofty, so poignant, that thee cannot be reduced to the oral language or written word of man. They simply defy mortal expression. Surely this was one of those moments” (p. 123-124).

The process of transcending mortal language to be able communicate on such a higher level and discern those spiritual layers is actually—believe it or not—a gift we can have right now. I won’t claim that it is easy to attain to such a high spiritual stature. Such “Zion-esque” abilities take time, immense righteous sacrifice, and personal spiritual capacity to develop. However, according to John Pontius in his other book, The Triumph of Zion, we still may not have to wait until then to get to that point. 

“Do we, as individuals, have the authority to pursue a personal place in Zion? For nearly two centuries most of us have left the future of Zion in the hands of the latter-day Church with no sense of personal responsibility other than faithful membership. Is it even appropriate for us to adopt a personal quest to obtain a Zion stature when the Church says little about this aspect of the latter-day Zion? Even if it is within our reach, is it within our calling and our privilege to do this? Can we just march up to the veil and purchase a seat on a bus that the Lord apparently mothballed some 160 years ago?

I believe the answer to all of these questions is a resounding yes! The first reason is that the bus to Zion was not mothballed, it was merely given a more personal destination. The second reason for so believing is that the Lord is no respecter of persons. Anyone who obeys the laws of Zion must, by divine justice, be given the blessings of Zion—”even to as many as believe on my name” (JST Genesis 14:29)—regardless of whether it is time for Zion to exist as a city or not” (p. 173).

Can you imagine how amazing that would be? Imagine how much contention we could avoid if we could simply see… er… feel into another persons heart spiritually. Think about how much easier it would be to refrain from passing judgement on people and holding grudges if we could instantly understand the whole context of someone’s words or actions. We could become one so much faster! And as the Savior said, “. . . if ye are not one, ye are not mine.” Of course, we should still stop judging and holding on to grudges either way, but one day mortal language and communication will no longer be stumbling blocks. Why not make that day sooner than later?

I don’t know about you, but I fully intend to work towards that goal. I have complete faith that the ability to comprehend all the spiritual layers of those I love can be mine just as soon as I find within myself the will to make whatever sacrifice is necessary to reach such a goal. Why not you, too? I say go for it!

A Special Connection

This last Sunday my wife and I were going through some of the new Come, Follow Me manual and in the third lesson for January there is a video that focuses on how Joseph felt as he helped raise The Messiah. As I was watching and read about it and I was dumbstruck by the portrayal of how he felt when Jesus was missing on their way back from Jerusalem. I don't know how to explain this very well, but it was as if all of the sudden I could feel Joseph's love for his step Son, his understanding of who He was and the resulting overwhelming anxiety he felt, knowing who Jesus was and that they had lost Him. I could feel so strongly the enormous responsibility he felt for keeping this Holy Boy safe and teaching Him, the best he knew how, the righteous traditions of his forefathers.

I felt in that moment an empathy for him like I had never felt for any other mortal father. I could feel the urgency in his efforts to get himself and Mary back to Jerusalem as fast as possible to make sure Jesus was okay. When I watched the video and saw the look on Joseph's face when Jesus said "wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" realizing what he meant, I felt like Joseph's expression almost yelled "how could I have forgotten that? I am only His mortal guardian. I need to be more humble about this. I should have known."

The contrast I felt between a) his absolute and intense sense of love duty to provide for and protect his wife and the Son of God and b) his realization that his role in Jesus' life was only temporary was so overwhelming for me that it got me thinking about the parallels in my own life that seemed to fit this moment of clarity for me like a brand new lock and key.

Joseph instinctually acted with an urgency the totally rocked me. Finding Jesus was of pivotal importance to him. I began asking myself: Are my actions mirroring the faith, love and loyalty I say I feel for my God, my wife, my family and friends? How can I better transfer how I feel about what matters most into my habits?

I see the example President Nelson is showing of following the Lord's counsel without regard to what is convenient or what others say about him and I wish I was doing better at that myself. Well, my readers, I don't know about you, but today I have felt a huge but gentle push from God to go against the grain of my natural instincts and replace more of my unholy habits with Godly ones.

I was recently listening to a podcast with Chad Daybell where he was talking about what will be required of today's youth and he said the following: "[our youth] will have to be stronger than the stripling warriors, and the reason I say that is because the stripling warriors only had to worry about one side of that kingdom, the physical side, because they were raised in a Zion-like society. They didn't have the problems with pornography, [] multiculturalism, [] drugs, gender-identity, [] socialism, they didn't have all these... just bombardment of satanistic attitudes that are coming at our kids left and right."

I see a great irony in this. We perceive, and justly so, these amazing examples of faith and endurance from saints and prophets from long ago. We have songs that say things like "I'll have faith like brother Joseph [Smith] and the strength of the pioneers. I'll be brave as the stripling warriors and, like Nephi, persevere." Yet there is that statement by Chad Daybell which is spot on.

How many of those anciently who we look up to are watching us today in both utterly unanticipated horror as well as dumbfounding wonder and joy with the levels of wickedness and righteousness they see in humanity today? My own patriarchal blessing says my heritage (which is rich with faithful examples in church history) will guide me in my determination to do everything within my power to be faithful and obedient to the Lord's will.

That... connection I guess you could call it, that I felt from Joseph was a huge reminder to me that my desire to be faithful in everything the Lord has asked me personally to do needs to increase exponentially. And I'll will going about that just the way the Lord told me to in my patriarchal blessing, by focusing on carrying on my family legacy of faith and loyalty to my God, my wife and my covenants. And I hope this has inspired someone else to do the same.

Learning From Example

During my scripture study this morning, I was in Alma 15 where Alma and Amulek had just escaped the prison in Ammonihah and went to establish the church in Sidom. When they got there they found out that Zeezrom, having realized the error of his ways, "lay sick at Sidom with a burning fever, which was caused by the great tribulations of his mind on account of his wickedness... and [his sins] did harrow up his mind until it did become exceedingly sore, having no deliverance; therefore he began to be scorched with a burning heat." (Alma 15:3)

I thought about that for a while and then considered the result of that kind of repentance, which it goes over in a more detail in verses 5 - 12, where "...they found him upon his bed, sick, being very low with a burning fever; and his mind also was exceedingly sore because of his iniquities; and when he saw them he stretched forth his hand, and besought them that they would heal him.

"And it came to pass that Alma said unto him, taking him by the hand: Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation?

"And he answered and said: Yea, I believe all the words that thou hast taught.

"And Alma said: If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed.

"And he said: Yea, I believe according to thy words.

"And then Alma cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord our God, have mercy on this man, and heal him according to his faith which is in Christ.

"And when Alma had said these words, Zeezrom leaped upon his feet, and began to walk; and this was done to the great astonishment of all the people; and the knowledge of this went forth throughout all the land of Sidom.

"And Alma baptized Zeezrom unto the Lord; and he began from that time forth to preach unto the people."

The cause and effect of this story in my mind got me feeling a much greater desire to make every time I repent like this instance with Zeezrom. He felt 100% true Godly sorrow so much that he wanted to abandon his sins and received forgiveness, as President Russell M. Nelson would say, "with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air." How often is my repentance like that? How often is any of our repentance really like that? Rarely. But look at the result! That kind of repentance permanently changed Zeezrom's life for the better. Imagine how much happier we could be, how much more peace and unity with God we could have if we wanted to abandon our sins (of commission and omission) as intensely as a drowning person grasping for air!

That should be a hashtag, seriously. #repentlikeZeezrom. But on that note, why not look at other examples of gospel principles in the scriptures? Let's take a look at a few.

#gratitudelikeAmmon

In the spirit of Thanksgiving week (at least for the U.S.), studying Alma 26 provides a fantastic example of humble gratitude for the blessings of missionary work, making others happy, the love and mercy of God, sacrifice and more. Here are just a few of the expressions of gratitude he gives after asking his companions, "I ask, what great blessings [God] has bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?"

Verse 3, "We have been made instrument in the hands of God to bring about this great work. Behold, thousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God."

Verse 12, "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength i am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in [H]is strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise [H]is name forever."

Verse 14, "Yea, we have reason to praise [H]im forever, for [H]e is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the chains of hell."

Verse 17, "Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our our awful, sinful, and polluted state?" (italics added)

And all this gratitude was in spite of the mocking and ridicule his own people shot at him. He recounted it, saying "they laughed us to scorn [and] said unto us: Do ye suppose that ye can bring the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth? Do ye suppose that ye can convince the Lamanites of the incorrectness of the traditions of their fathers, as [stubborn] a people as they are; whose hearts delight in the shedding of blood; whose days have been spend in the grossest iniquity...?"

This didn't deter Ammon. He was thankful for the chance and his efforts were certainly not wasted.

#faithlikeMohonri

More commonly known as The Brother of Jared, Mohonri's story is unique in a number of ways. First, he left for the Americas even before Abram was named Abraham so he wouldn't have even had the pentateuch (five books of Moses) like the Israelites and Lehi did when Lehi left Jerusalem. All he probably had was whatever records there were at the time of God's dealings with His children from Adam up to just after Noah and the flood. He wouldn't have had nearly as many records of prophets testimonies of Jesus Christ as the Nephites had when the Jaredite nation was founded.

With that in mind, remember the story of his asking the Lord to touch the 16 stones and what unexpectedly came of that experience. When the Lord showed Mohonri His spirit body, He said to him "never have I showed myself unto man whom I have created, for never has man believed in me as thou hast." In fact, so great was His faith that Moroni mentioned (and keep in mind this was written after 400 A.D.)  that up to the time when Moroni wrote it, "there never were greater things made manifest than those which were made manifest unto the brother of Jared." He knew this because "the Lord [had] commanded [him] to write them..." and include them in the sealed portion of the plates Joseph Smith had.

Imagine how much faith it would take to make it so that a prophet would write about your faith "he could not be kept from beholding within the veil;" For now I merely aspire to attain this level of faith, in mind, heart and action and hope to one day get to that point.

#charityliketheAmmonites

If you've ever read the Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites series by Chris Heimerdinger, you may remember the part where it mentions that Garth always considered Ammon the greatest missionary of all time. I think there's a good reason for that idea being included in those books. It takes a missionary like Ammon to instill such an incredible love in a people like the converted Lamanites who were later called Ammonites. They were, as Mormon mentions, "distinguished for their zeal towards God and also towards men;...and they did look upon shedding the blood of their brethren with the greatest abhorrence... they would suffer death in the most aggravating and distressing manner which could be inflicted by their brethren, before they would take the sword or cimeter to smite them."

How many people do you know who couldn't, even if their life depended on it, lift a finger or a single word against another human being? Do you know anyone who can't stand the thought of doing or saying anything to hurt another person, even the rapist, the hater, the murderer, the pornographer, the liar, or the abuser? The Ammonites learned to love everyone to the point where, while they would never even entertain the idea of abandoning their faithful and diligent lifestyle, they also would never dream of hurting someone who hated or hurt them because of their faith.

There are a few others I can think of, but I don't have the time to go over them right now. But just think of totally Christ-like examples of other virtues and how you can exemplify those virtues in a similar way in your own life. Heck, when you share this, perhaps pick your favorite or do one of your own.

#humilitylikeKingBenjamin (Mosiah 2:10-26)
#patiencelikeAlma (Alma 14:14-end)
#obediencelikeNephi (1 Nephi 3:15; 4:6-7 and 2 Nephi 33:15)
#diligencelikeJacob (Jacob 2:9-11)
#hopelikeHelaman (Alma 58:33-37)